Take me by the hand;
it's so easy for you, Angel,
for you are the road
even while being immobile.
You see, I'm scared no one
here will look for me again;
I couldn't make use of
whatever was given,
so they abandoned me.
At first the solitude
charmed me like a prelude,
but so much music wounded me.
"Music" by Rainer Maria Rilke
I've been a fan of Rilke's poetry since my senior year of high school. I've always felt something inspirational in the way he wrote and the words he used. Being older now I connect more with it then before.
Music is a poem I've felt a connection with lately. I've always tried to share my vision and talents in the church. Trying to do something for God and making in impact. Mostly what I've gotten is a cold shoulder. Here is a key moment that stands out.
The first was being told the church couldn't support my music, my ministry. This hurt at the time but it was also the deciding factor in not needing the church to be effective. I had always wanted to have the church be venue for bands and a place for people to come and hang out and here good music. We had the facility. We had the sound system. Whatever small support I could gain wasn't enough to persuade those in charge. I tried to book a show for myself at the church I was attending. I was told that I had great songs but the church just didn't support what I was doing.
I've come to the conclusion since then that my effectiveness for God can't reach it's full potential in the church where, dare I say, most the people already are christians. This becomes a whole different soapbox but I will share that one later. God has a heart for people. He loves people. He sent his son to die for people. For me. For you. God loves me. God loves you. I feel this point isn't brought up enough in churches. So my heart needed to change from being effective for God to being effective for others.
1 Corinthians 13:1-3
"If I could speak in any language in heaven or on earth but didn't love others, I would only be making meaningless noise like a loud gong or a clanging cymbol. If I had the gift of ptophecy, and if I knew all the mysteries of the future and knew everything, but didn't love others, what good would I be? And if I had the gift of faith so that I could speak to a mountain and make it move, without love I would be no good to anybody. If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn't love others, I would be of no value whatsoever."
Paul makes it pretty clear that if we don't love others we are useless. It's taken me a while to get this concept and I'm still not very good at it(ie, when I'm driving) but it's something I'm working on. There is a need for people to serve in church and be a part of that side of things but it will only reach so many people. Those that are most in need of God aren't at church. They aren't at youth group. They're at the bars, they're at baseball games, they're you're neighbors, they're at the mall. And they need something meaningful. They don't need a hell fire and damnation sermon. Most of them just want to know they're loved.
I believe this starts with showing the love of God. I read the gospels and I see Jesus hanging out with people. I see Jesus healing people. I see Jesus doing what's right. I see him not condeming others for their choices. I see Jesus show us how to love. How to treat others. I see an example. Something I want to be. I believe that is the true meaning of being christlike. There is no perfect person in all of history except for Jesus. I will never be perfect. Try and try as I might I will always fail.
The beauty is God doesn't see that. Because God loved me and sent his son Jesus to die for my sins. The same Jesus who conquered death and rose from the grave on the third day. The same Jesus and God who I put my faith in. Because of that God sees me as holy and righteous. So all I can do is try my best to be what God wants me to be. To love everyone. To be cool to everyone.
My new vision is to love others. Above all else it is to show others the love of God. To build relationships with those around me and show them love.
John 3:16
"For God so love me, that he sent his only son so that if I believe in him I will not perish but I will have eternal life. "
