Red Wine on Christmas

With a glass of red wine and Vince Guaraldi on
I sit by myself beside the Christmas tree
I reflect on the year and look through the greed
And like good ole Charlie Brown
I try to find meaning.
Because it's not that I mind the gifts under the tree
Infact I'm looking forward to the ones that belong to me
But I know that there's more and I know that you care
Because if you hadn't, I wouldn't be here still
So I take this small moment, on a cold Christmas eve
With a now empty wine glass and a cat at my sleeve
And say thanks to my father, whose love I still need

The Problem

I could count for years how I lost my way
And by your standards, today was not a good day
See I try and fail
And I try again... only to fail again
Oh whoa is me that I can't seem to ever get this right
G*d what must be done, when will I see the light
Or will I wander around forever
Looking for a peace that will never come?

My past remains and in this moment my futures not bright
And the struggle is seems endless but I continue to suggest a fight
But my own self is weak
And the affliction runs deep
But the choice is still mine
And I've considered defeat.

Though I pray for forgiveness and say that I'm sorry
By this time tomorrow, it's the same old story
Though G*d never gives up
I'm still breaking his heart
I feel lost and alone
Not sure where to start.

The Devil is Near But I Wouldn't Want Her Anywhere Else

My love, my love stand next to me
And wrap your frame oh so tightly
Even though all you'll cause me is pain
I love it when you're near all the same
Because despite my deep dark hate of you
There's this thing in my heart that won't go without
That smile you give is oh so nice
And if I never see it again I wouldn't think twice
Because behind those eyes, oh Gorgeous eyes
Is your sisister heart, with your evil plan
But I prayed before and I'll pray again
For God to keep you in his hands
But until the day you make your turn
I'll continue to hold you near.