Lament of the Sailor

Found a broken spirit and it looks like mine
A passion now dead from a life lived forlorn
A ship in the distance is calling my name
But with no destination it all sounds the same
A sailor on land, my life is on pause
When my ship came in I was long gone

Awaken the dawn as I find a new boat
For my heart is longing for an ocean to call home

Trapped

Tie me up
I'm sorry for today
These tear of lost eyes wandering
It makes relish in time spent alone
A cry for help not heard except for God above
Make joy from sorrow if there is such a way
Oh God I feel like I've lost my way
Bring to me a savior for my heart is still broken
I need yet an answer to my windowless room

Post Modern History of a Well Worn Heart

I watched you break and fade away
Screaming as they laughed your name
Today was not your day

Arise to the top and forget what you're not
A clean get away is better then to stop
You think about the life you have, the falsehood you've become
A making of something deeper then a lie you've overcome

Wake up oh soul, wake up of child
And take the time to look deep inside
Make up your mind of a life once lost
Oh the feelings that have been tossed
Tonight we take our senses back
Not glancing to see what is lacked

Killing Time Till It's Time To Die

Mark my words, you'll never say a word
That sounds like speech to me
These empty tombs, these corpses lying
Make me stronger in my beliefs
"Fight the system" is no corporate line but a system of lies
Sold to a generation in panic.
Arise oh sleeper, were you ever sleeping
Or have we ignored you all along
We're killing time till you call us home
Oh great and mighty one
Take back the streets from enemies
A godhead where we don't belong
A rushing sound is never the sign
But this silence is deafening
We won't relent our souls to tonight
But our lives mean more to us
So rip out the pews and tear down the curtain
The night is ours and we haven't forgotten
Our convictions bring us to rebellion
Against the loveless one
Without a true God

A little something something (Untitled)

The last sound at night is your voice in my ear
And in the morning I longer for your face to see
My dear, you're never far and never near enough
This distance makes my heart ache
I long for the day when we're together
Forever with you by my side
I wait in anticipation for that day
And hope that you'll remain with me

Dance with Me

Take me away, I'm lost
Drowning myself slowly looking for answers to questions never asked
A piece of me is floating on a river to the sea
Lost and gone forever and broken heart of me
Dance away the pain I feel inside
The wickedness I still conceal
My heart opens to one less perfect then the one whom holds the key
Drown my sorrows one more night, one more time
Take me away and I won't fight
Because all this world is locked inside my soul
And I give nothing back... and I give everything

Awake oh sleeper and kill the day
My mountain side monster, that bastard within me
Take heart and hold on tight to everything I feel
But lock away my fear and replace it with the great hope
Ask me not what's wrong, but hold me close
I wait for peace and love, for a countryside view
Of sunshine on my face, of moonlight spreading grace
This puzzle broken heart put together as one

Fight of Relapse

Focus the image, I'll never come back
Breaking this cycle of needed relax
But the right of myself is lost in the day
Forever a dreamer with little to say
Oh wake my mind and give new life
To the pen and paperless simple of kind
A new generation of laziness breeds
This fire and anger and passion in me
But to do, oh God what do I say
To a people who looks to much like me

"Maybe the Lord will act on our behalf"

Take hold of me and let me breathe
For the fear is still gripping tightly
A shattered dream, I'm afraid I'll come
But there's more to me then this run down job
A purpose in life is all I ask
Yet you've handed me this life long task
Failure lurks within my mind
So I don't dare step out where you're by my side
"Maybe the Lord will act on our behalf"
Or maybe I'll die, or worse, they'll all laugh
It's not that I don't think it's true
This calling that runs through and through
But the fear that some will mock my name
Is causing me to bring you shame

The Price of Beauty

Star light, Star bright
I've captured your radiance here tonight
A look around and the things I see
Do very little to interest me
But the glow I saw when I looked at you
Alone in the sky, I knew it was true
That hope was found in the oddest places
And have you I would, I swore to myself
So the journey began to catch a star
And alas I found it not very hard
The years I've focus all my love
My energy, the desires of heart
To making your beauty only mine
I took you from the world you shined
Ashamed I offer my mistake
To the world to mock me, my created fate

A sailor's letter home

If i was lost at sea with no hope in sight,
I'd send a message in a botle addressed to you.
And the simple note would read "I love you."
In my fleeting moments it would be your face, your memory on my mind.

She Always Wears My Favorite Color

Divided I wake, thy soul unturned
The blessing of caught, of shunned, of burned
Leave now the murderers, flee the scene
Judgment is coming to rapture thee
Alas a new mystery, shrouded in black
Comes calling my name, seductive attack
Run though I must, leaves little unchanged
A new set of problems but my heart is the same

Let This Be a Lesson to The One That Gets Away

I find it very comforting when you talk like that
But your eyes can't hide the frustration inside
So take a step back and listen to lies
Then justify yourself and only to yourself
That words you said meant anything
Anything more then a 10 cent cigarette
That calmed the nerve for the first drag... and nothing after

Drink up, drink up, all your demon friends yelled
So you walked to the bar, your own personal hell
My heart left unchanged and your voice still untrue
But when I walk away, your feelings turn blue
The sorrow now left by my footprint impression
A stain on your soul, yet you learned not a lesson

Oh hardened heart wake up and scream
Today is the day when winter fades to spring
Alas it is coming, the day of your new
Too bad I won't see it, I've broken us too.

40 days worth of poetry

Not really. I did write a handful of poems during my 40 day fast that I will now share.


"A Whisper on the Breeze"

Sadness will infect the mind
And sickness pass comes in due time
Along the roof a whisper carries
On the wind his words to her
You're beautiful
And you are Loved


"The Secret's That Won't Share Themselves"

Her precious past a mystery
The shattered tears of history
A road so painful, so alone
Apart from it she hasn't grown
A hand reached out to take her place
And share the emotion upon her face
She turns her head revealing not
While my aching heart leaves bruised and crushed


"My Heart Screams for Something More Then This Failed Life I Keep"

I feel exposed beyond belief
These paper walls are not discreet
The broken bones of my soul
I have no reason to be told
But through the tears I hear her voice
As in her little frame she holds
My trembling, crying body
With a love I've never known


"The Moment That Seemed to Last Forever"

There is a place I retreat
In the beauty of your love
And I find myself at peace
Awaiting grace above
My heart explodes in singing
In laughter and in tears
I feel myself awaken
In your everlasting arms

All Else Failed

The shattered remains are falling like glass
A glint of hesitation, afraid of what I might ask
The turning of tides has already past
As I sit on the pier, am I really the last?

Tomorrow a shadow of failure unknown
The death of my right hand, the name unbeknownst
Glimmer a spot of blood that was shed
Now empty life floods a voice in my head

A murder so cruel but what's to be done
The need left by one life consumed by new blood
The hearts broken murder
Replaced by new love

Falling of Deaf Ears

Stabs of painted light stand still
Gazing shadows walk faster till
The sound of silence lends a part
The very nature of this art
A glimmer of hope yet all consumed
The very one is chosen still
To bring a message painted black
The ears that fall upon won't last
But somewhere in the smoke filled crowd
An open mind will soon reveal
The meaning to the broken tale
A fragmented line no longer stale
A half drunk soul will leave tonight
With a sense of purpose, that all is right

Her Smiled Warmed My Heart and Her Words Spoke of Hope

I've been running for so long looking for a safe place
But discomfort never seems to far behind
I'm hiding in the shadows looking for a glimpse of hope
And out the corner of my eye the sun does start to show
So without looking back at a starless past
I run into the warmth of the brightly glowing one

Sing Once for Me

Give me a reason to leave but I won’t take it
At this moment without you, I wouldn’t make it
Try with your might to push me away
But an opportunity is all I can say
The moment so sweet with you in my arms
But I want your trust, I promise no harm
My heart in a box, I offer and ask
For you to take it, but not just to smash
The angels in heaven could sing me a song
But a day without you, I’d still feel all wrong
The smile you see, you placed on my lips
And the words I bring now, I ask not to twist
The moments with you are precious but few
And I recall every moment as if it were knew
My ways are not perfect but for you I would change,
My life for the better, if you’d still feel the same
So sing once for me and hold your hand
In a second I’d take it and not let you land,
Alone on the floor with no where to turn
I promise my darling together we’d burn
These words said in honest I give now to you
And please take my honor, that these things are true.

Maybe They Will Sing for Us Tomorrow

This is a piece I wrote while listening to the new Hammock record.


"Moments feel endless, as angels pass unaware
Their songs once filling heaven, now stifle in dead air
We all mourn the passing of a day long since gone
The mouths of the poets echo confused song
Still I whisper a shout that is heard by not one
And I keep coming back to a love holding on
Creep though I may, through broken hallway glass
I want just to be near, though not to see when I pass
Mistake of my heart, mistake of the day
From beginning of Winter, till this day in May
My footsteps are heard in the big empty house
A look and a smile and I feel like a louse
I fix my gaze away, ashamed and despaired
But in the moment of stillness, there’s forgiveness in the air
With tear filled eyes I run through the streets
A new joy in spirit, no sense of defeat
With the dawn of the day, the rise of the sun
Comes a moment to redeemed my life I have ruined
Maybe there is hope through my sorrow
Maybe they will sing for us tomorrow.

At 5, The City Sleeps

I wish the night would last forever
And I would hold you in my arms
But the mornings dawn is closer still
Alas my love, I leave at will
Knowing come tomorrow's sun
It's your eyes my mind's set upon
And I'll wait until we meet again
To hold once more my love and friend

A Song for...

"You are grace in understanding
A whisper in my pain filled world
The joy that takes my breathe away
A light amid the pearls

The love shines through at night
And in his heart, you take delight
An angel smile across your lips
And my life feels so alive"

I Feel in Love on a Metro Train

As conversation died on that rainy night
We rode the train north ward, to conclude our time
The drone of the engine and coffee breath
You lay your head against my neck
In silence we rode sitting close to each other
And I would not have asked for another
To share this moment with this eve
Then the pretty young girl sleeping next to me.

Lament

Time has brought me back to this empty pier
Where I first set sail so many years ago
To find a place I'd never seen before
Well all that time I'd left a love ignored
Her once star lit eyes have dulled with age
And her love for me and flame now dead
As we faced each other this one last time
We both can see that our love has died
And I the murderer that faithful day
When I left her heart at dock on the bay.

Lost in Paris

Salvation is here but you fled the scene
And I look for a friend but all I find are these four walls.
The freedom you spoke of has yet to arrive
I just feel trapped and lost inside
This great peace hasn't shown up yet
And freedom in Christ, seems choked out yet
There's a glimmer of hope at the end of each day
If only someone was around to cast it my way
I know there's something more in this life with Christ
But you abandoned me to a church full of flies
And I'm looking hard, and harder still
To find this powerful God and his will
But this place is full of hypocrites and liars
And my sin to them makes me stink of bile
So I pray and pray and I call out to God
To save my soul from being a fraud
And bring me into amazing grace
I'd feel you shining down on my face
I know you're out there and so much more
Then this four wall black mail, chains on doors
So far I flee from this wicked place
And finally I find your sweet embrace

Nothing in This World Feels Right

"It seems every minute spent away is a moment to many
And this night I have seen that my moments are few
So I sit on the edge of this beach you have made
Praying for hours that you'd take me away

Take me away to land far away
Something like Oz that most people call heaven
A fairy tale love in a fairy tale world
With a preposterous God
That I'd call mine own"

Tears of an Angel

In a garden over grown
I'm sure I've seen it all
And I sit wondering to myself
Is this it?

Then I look up by the rose bush
To see an angel alone
And as I venture my way closer
I hear her tiny sobs

I sit down right beside her
Not knowing what to say
She's a broken angel
And I'm just a man

The moment lasts for hours
As the sun makes it's way to bed
When she finally turns to me
And lays her precious head.

In her rest I see quite clearly
Why she was crying all alone
She's my guardian angel
And I'm her broken boy.

New Stuff... well semi new stuff

I haven't taken the time over the past week to post anything new so here you go.

Early thoughts while taking a walk on a cold morning
"Around every turn I take
A cold wind smacks me in the face
Just like you did that night...

And I swore my love, that I'd have revenge
For the mockery you did make of then then
But... that thought was quick fleeting.

For how can I hurt your pretty face? "


Stars
"Explosion in the night, sent tiny stars a flying
All around the universe they sailed never knowing
Their final destination was meant to be
A piece of hope that glimmered in my life "


Every Now And Then I'm Inspired, Despite my Present Outlook (The Fear is What Keeps Us Here)
"A calm rains falls at my feet
And in a distance memory I see
Her face that very faithful day
When I released the feelings held

Her words still hit me like a knife
A cold mantra practice over time
And I'd heard these very words before
From the same lips that spoke them now.
A cold shade of blue filled my room
And all that was beautiful, broke in full bloom

And though I'd never seen an angel cry
I've heard the devil laugh many a time
And it was that moment she spoke to me
Maybe, someday, just wait and see. "


Nothing More Then a Pretty Face
"At face value she was nothing more then a pretty face in the crowd
But there was a passion, a fire, behind her beautiful eyes.
It seem such a shame, that at such a young age
In the form of a man, her song was taken away.
Pain grew with age, the hurt inside of rape
She said “**** the world” and at her bed she lay.

But Lord from on high, came down to her side
And breathed in new forgiveness and completeness inside.
Awaken she found, her poor heart restored
And a love that she’d thought, was dead on her floor.

The smile shines brighter, then I’d seen before
As she walks hand in hand, with her lover, The Lord. "

Innocent Girl (Do You Even Exist)

She tortures me with her sinister smile (but oh how beautiful it looks tonight).
And I scream for this to end as her stare lingers just a second longer.
And she's out the door but it's to late
She's got my attention and it's killing me
This beautiful one, this evil one
The girl will be the death of me
But we'll never find out....
She's gone and I'm alone, another one of her tortured souls.

Like playing second fiddle in a two fiddle band

"No Clearance" the sign read,
As she walked away shaking her head
Once again she's been past over
She's waiting on a train to take her away

Once upon a time, she'd of been a queen
And people from the around the world would have come to see
The beauty evidence through her life would show
In all the world her greatness would grow

But she'd been rejected for the last time
No more living outcast and damned
The trains arrival, her ticket out
Of this cruel world, to heaven she's bound

Faith Expressing Itself In Love

I thought for a long time about the things I would say
But the word that came were just a spare memory
And how would express this thing
The joy in my heart, that makes me want to sing (not that I'd actually do it)

Love them were the words that made the most sense
So I put down my pen and left hoping for a chance
To meet someone new and show them a side
Of a new kind of humanity, with Christ's love inside

I Don't Believe You (She Acts Like We Never Have Met)

On a cold December night
We sit outside her favorite restaurant
Chain smoking with all the vagabonds
Singing all our favorite Dylan songs
And I plead into her emerald eyes
"Doll please don't go!"
Yet her moves betray the very words
She spoke to me the night before
"It's not for long, my dearest one"

Conflict

"The only thing worth writing about is the human heart in conflict with itself"
William Faulkner


Early morning thoughts while taking a walk in the cold

"Around every turn I take
A cold wind smacks me in the face
Just like you did that night...

And I swore my love, that I'd have revenge
For the mockery you did make of then then
But... that thought was quick fleeting.

For how can I hurt your pretty face? "


Going Remorselessly to Hell with a Piano

"In spite of better judgement I let her take me by the hand and led me out the door
This night will end badly but I need her like a newborn to their mother
And though come morning I will forget the reason why
I let her lead to the back alley bar that Satan himself owns.

Through the door I see that evil grin as the devil pours another shot
And though I shouldn't, I accept it willingly
Tonight let's feast like kings because the reality of tomorrow will just depress me.

She leads me to the corner booth that just last week I swore I wouldn't be back to
And with the sweetest voice I've heard tonight she whispers "Kiss Me"

And I offer up a simple prayer, 'Lord please forgive me"

See I know where this night ends... "

Sex is a Tragedy That Ends in Heartache

We took a trip to the city
All the girls outside were pretty
But I had the most gorgeous one of all right beside me.

Then we took a trip to the country
And there were butterflies a plenty
But their beauty paled in comparison to you.

But beauty is not what I care most about
So I planned this little trip
To see if there was more to us then making love

And what I found is I'm a weak man
And I saw that your a hypocrite
That only praise God when it benefits you the most.

So what to say to a former love
Whom I know this won't end nicely
But alas I step aside and break her heart

And she ran off to foreign countries
Where she would one day get married
And I stay at home and spent the rest of my life alone.

I regret, not a single moment I spent without her
For the silence let me spend
Some much needed time with my precious Lord.

Send More Stars

It seems to me that what I have in a discipline problem
But Lord I can't figure it out on my own
So I sit under the stars and meditate on the name
The saved my life from death and and the grave
But that day seems for very far and changed so much
And I continue to fight with this idea of you
And who I'm supposed to be in you
And I don't agree with the rest of thee
Who claim to be just like me
But they don't get the ideas I see...

...if it was happiness I had really wanted I wouldn't still be here...

But I am and that means there's more to this !

So I must confess it feels pretty hopeless sometimes
And my ways seem so far off track with what you did
But give up shall I not, for I fight the fight and push upstream
Because I'm not the norm in their church philosophy

But... that's not why I'm here anyway.

p.s. Send more Stars.

When I Didn't Run, She Turned Away

There was whiskey on her breathe and death in her smile
And she held my attention, if only for a little while
And so I left her there in South Berlin
At the wall dividing river states
And the song she sang as I raised the sails
Was not one to contemplate

See it was that girl who played with my heart
So I had to run away
From her beautiful smile and heart breaker eyes
That would steal the rest of my days.

Shakespeare wasn't far off

All the world's a stage
Though I'm not great actor
But I have one hell of a mask
And when it's on you'll never even see the real me
And that's just how I like it, I'd much rather hide
Because on the inside I'm mighty flawed
And I'm not sure I want you to see what's really me

Angela's Song

There's an expression of time that hides in her eyes
But I saw it once when she shared a smile
And my heart did break as she shed a tear
And freed herself from childish fear.