Missed Motion

There's a door of escape just outside these black walls
Screaming souls of the half dead cry for God to spend them straight to hell
An example of love shines through darkness and blinds the masses
So they all miss a chance to find your grace and redeeming love
Like sheep we keep on walking, right into the flame
All the while we miss the one who holds the keys to save

Romeo and Juliette Gone Wrong

What light through broken windows shows
Juliette you threw the stone that broke the window in my heart
I opened all the others wide
Hoping any future rocks would pass right through or land softly inside
Yet you found news ways to break the shattered pane of glass
While I sat quietly amazed

It was raining when I fell in love
And it was raining when you broke my heart
The weather never changed
But my thoughts on you had shifted
If I drank this cup of poison
Would you still plunge the knife blade to the center of your heart

I've spent all week roaming the streets
Looking for all the lost little sheep
I round them up into a corner of the barn
And lay my head upon the pillow to say a prayer for the fallen

Oh Princess I’m still here
But you’re out whoring around with all the cowboys and the queers
I understand I move to fast and I’m too old
And I understand he’s promising you streets made out of gold

But know my dear that I've been faithful and I've been true
And I'm standing with my arm still open wide

The Prayers of the Lost

I can feel a new way of life unchanging
I can feel a stirring of something better

We’re looking at the sun… to lead us home
To break us free from all this oppression
We’re heading north… Not straying from the path
To make our ways from death to freedom
We pray to the invisible God
Hoping for an answer to correct our wayward life
Waiting for the smallest glimpse
That better days are ahead of us

My Favorite Conversation

I want to talk to you for hours
I want to share the deepest depths of my soul with you
Tell me your secrets and I'll tell you mine
I want to hold nothing back
My fears, dreams, failures, and accomplishments
I want you to know everything
Hours spent in conversation with you bring joy to my soul
The sound of your voice brings peace
Yet recent leavings keep me held at bay
From sharing all I want with you
Can I trust you... Can I pour myself into you once more
Or should I find another to share my heart with
You are my favorite conversation
Despite all that's been said

Tu es dans mes rêves

Je déteste ce rêve, parce que je me réveillais et non à côté de vous

Moments

There are moments in our life
When we discover what we're looking for
When the clouds part and the sun shines
When rest and peace invade our soul
Life becomes freshly aware of beauty
Awed by all the miracles happening around us
Circumstances of no desire are replaced with great hope
The world seems new and full of possibilities
There are moments in our life
When we give ourselves over fully to love
To something bigger then our 9 to 5 existence
Finding meaning in our everyday nothings
There are moments in our life...
That we let slip by

Miss America is a Pyro

I want to burn Main street to the ground
Torch the buildings and watch the world go ape
I want to put safe existence to rest
Move the suits to panic and see the world dissolve to anarchy

I want a crown and recognition
I want the world to know my name and I want the money due me
I want to be told I'm the worlds most important, most beautiful

I also want world peace

The Lost Princess

The princess walked the streets with the whores
Not aware of her status in this world
Lost amidst the sinners and misguided
She wanders around looking for love
All the while her prince is looking for her
Knowing that she's lost her way and is so confused
Night and day his search is never ending
Hoping to find his love and help her find her place in this world

Hymn To The Immortal Wind

An old man walks along a busy city street when out of the corner of his eye he sees a discarded, trampled flower.
Yet despite is state of disrepair he finds the beauty that still sits just behind the broken flowers eye
He picks it up gently and slowly walks it home
And with all the love in his heart he tells the flower how lovely she is
How proud God must be to have made something so precious
And that despite her present state of abandonment that her life still has a plan
He plants his little flower in a garden in the front yard of his small house
A place for all passersby to see
With tender love and care he waters and feed his pretty little flower
Which each passing day he sees her grow and become more and more in the beauty she once held
A smile passes the old man's lips
Knowing he has helped restore a broken souls hope


A distraught gardner is franticly walking past small old forgotten homes
Broken hearted that his flower has become lost
He stops his walking as it catches his eye
His long lost flower, far from home planted where it does not belong
He walks to the front door and knocks and is saddening when an old man answers
Know full well that taking this flower will break the old mans heart
"Dear sir, I couldn't help but notice the flower in your yard,
She is very beautiful and I've see you spent a lot of love and care.
But this flower was grown many years ago, planted by my hands with a purpose all her own.
If it's not too much and if you can bear, I wish very much to take her back at home."

The old man turns his head and sighs, the gardener can see the tears forming in his eyes
But looks to his flower and with the slightest nod, grants the gardener his wish
The old man bends down and whispers low, a love sonnet he's told his precious night after night
With gentle care he unplants the flower, hands her over and turns away
With a reassuring hand the gardener touches the old man's shoulder
"She's in good hands, and she'll remain loved."

If I have given myself to any unworthy cause
Shatter my soul and rebuild a better me
For my intent is not to become a product of my own self-seeking
But to find a way to bring you more praise

My Heart for You

There are no words to describe my heart for you
It's bruised
Mostly broken
There's not much left for you to have
For this I'm sorry
But please, my love
Know this
I am yours and yours alone


CJG

Untitled

I have fallen down a well so terribly deep
A dark cloud covers all that I can see
With little hope in sight I close my eyes and say a prayer
Wishing love would find a way to get me out of here

Then pebbles crumble down and your face is backlit by the sun
You're always there to save the day, my forever only one

I Miss You

I made you favorite meal tonight...
Too bad you weren't here to have some
I wish you'd yell at me for changing the temperature on the stove
Or giving the food an unnecessary stir

These little things add up
They made this house our home
It feels empty without you

How I long to see your face
To hold your hand and kiss your cheek
Sit on the couch with you next to me
Holding you close and taking in your scent
I long to hear you say I love you

But all I feel is miserable
The ache inside of missing you
I still look out the window for your car
Out the keyhole, hoping to see your face
When the phones rings I pray it's you
Disappointed when it's not

When you're ready I'll be right here
Please don't forget me...

me without you

This isn't really a poem.


"I wanted to tell you I made it home safely
I wanted to tell you I love you
I wanted to say goodnight
When I woke up I wanted to say good morning
I wanted to know how slept
I wanted to find out how your day was going
I wanted to know your plans for tonight
I wanted you to know I love you
I wanted you to know I miss you
I wanted you to know how much this hurts
I wanted you to know how terrible my day was without you
I wanted to tell you
I just wanted you to know"

Time Warped Canvas

A makers hand falls slowly towards it's creation
Striking down the imperfection slowly taking form
Move slowly in your finite existence
There's a great big world waiting to be implored
Paint touched the canvas like new lovers' first kiss
Yet time strains beauty into a distant shoreline moving further out to sea
All our swimming seems in vain
As the undertow pulls us further still away
Is there any way to restore this canvas back to new?
Will we ever see the beauty shining through?
O' Painter, do not in haste destroy the good that you've made
Your hard work has not passed completely unnoticed
Take hold of your anger and channel it into your masterpiece creation
And present to the world your glorious splendor

A Small Spark

You're like a fire burning forests to the ground
You're like a canvas destroyed by bad art
Why would you request to die...
Burn oh fire burn
Take stock of lives lived by past prophets
Making fools of themselves only to be redeemed by God
Somewhere smiling down of those that once made fun
Take up your burden and walk into oblivion
Make sure the priest have all forgotten and that the noblemen aren't looking
Secrets are best shared between lovers in the dark
Yet the internet has ruined the excitement of surprise and anticipation
Don't worry about the headlines of tomorrows paper
As it affects your outcome very little
The history books will one day read
.. and it burned all around

On a Dark and Stormy Night

I stare beyond the moon to an unexplainable distant point of time
Miles beyond anything I can comprehend
My self a mass of questioning about things unknown
The educated guesses of men in suits holds no place in my heart
Stillness settles to an answer not yet gain, to one I'll never have
Prayers go up as questions asking God why
No response
And no response needed for my non theological mind
It is grace and forgiveness not semantics I need

Of Glass and Tale Tell Sins

Broken hearts rain down like glass from heaven
Tiny children run to collect fragments of ships long since passed
In winter the snow falls on mothers of abandoned houses
While fires warm the liquor in our our bellies
We pass the day by telling stories of memories half true
A little lie we play in side our mind of a life we wish we had
Stop all the laughter for a moment of sincerity... we wait
The silence of the room is so loud it makes us wary of the truth we have spoken
Still subtle arms wrapped around our shoulders bring peace inside our hearts

Hello Love

A new day looks down on us from up above
A remembrance of things we ought never have said
Too little, too late apologies for the sins we have committed
But nevermore I look to you for anything more
With exception as to how I can be your love(show you love)
May every day come faster till the day of our together
Then let each pass more slowly then the last
To live our lives together(forever) until heaven wants them back

May We Forgive Ourselves

Open air topic of conversation
A new thought process is brewing
A hot pink air balloon of information
Floating with no known destination
A wide world open to the possibility of self-destruction
A cage match of faith and logic battling to the bitter end
My mind is alike a battle field where everyone has died
A blank canvas littered with the trash of dead thoughts
A war waging between making sense of it all and being ok with knowing nothing
With no end in sight I set my eyes skyward
Hoping for a second that God will grant me peace
But peace is a pipedream of men constantly at war
An unwillingness to accept life as is
A place where reality is more then they bargained for
A murderous envy, ever present in the back of our mind
A storyboard theology of making sense of life and God
Lust as taken hold of hearts and mind
Sex is on television asking us to enjoy the ride
But we know all to well the pride that comes from playing with fire
From hiding our secret sins from a God who knows all
We are not yet ready to own up for our mistakes made
We have not yet understood that we will one day die like everyone else
We are struggling for understanding when all we need to do is believe
Our pain has been bought and yet we still wear a mask
We want to make sense of every little piece of information we have yet to comprehend
We struggle for meaning when God has brought meaning
We feel like little lost sheep yet we are still in the barn
We are looking for a love that we’ve already found
Forgive us… Like you have so many times before

Contemporary Love Song

In the middle of a room stands alone a girl of young age
Waiting for love to fill her heart and sweep her off her feet
Yet the light seems to come in the form of the same broken damaged relationships of past lives gone by
Hopesless she stands at the edge of a knife, no end in sight
Yet prayers not unheard by God come answered in the formed of a mostly unknown man
Who comes without reason or circumstance, with no intention ill willed or self-serving
Yet come he does and in an instance their bond is formed, a love with fire
Her hearts now stopped bleeding, her voice of hope has returned in full
Moments of time capture fragments of memories, with nothing before seeming to have any merit in her life
A walk, a song, an afternoon cup of tea, pizza for two
With each passing day her love renewed

On the Night That I Die

On the night that I die I want to look up to heaven and shout to the savior who saved me,
Screaming at the top of my lungs that I'm ready to spend the afterlife with him.
On the night that I die I want to look into the eyes of my beautiful wife,
And share one last moment of love together.
On the night that I die I want to hold the hands of my children,
Seeing that I've raised them right and my legacy lives on within them.
On the night that I die I want to kiss the heads of my grandchildren,
Sending a prayer to God that he would keep them safe.
On the night that I die I want to look back at my life as a whole,
And thank the Lord for all the moments of joy I've had.
On the night that I die I want to leave this world a better man,
Better then I had ever been before.

Lost my heart somewhere between our first meeting and today.
Oh how far into our future we used to see
Our smiling children out back with playing with the dog.
Yet now I'm having a hard time seeing even a few hours from now
And to be frank my darling, it has me scared .
A life thrown into modern day divorce between us two
Has me wishing for days when we were new.
When all we had were smiles and innocence
When our love would last forever.
It seems like yesterday and still so long ago
And I can't help but pray for a return to those days.
So please my dear don't give up just yet.
Please let me become a man you won't regret.

Murder Inc

Welcome to the greatest show on earth
Court tv drama on technologies latest and greatest
A world so consumed with the new yet so in debt to it's self
Make known that this depression era season will soon pass
Unless all of God's children decide to spend every once of their life
And for what we all gain with this new all in one
We could've used to help a cast away son
The world looks upon us with disdain in it's eye
As we spend our life on our hearts fleeting desire
A shadow of life, the angel of death
Has come back to earth, our stuff to collect.

A Letter: From Satan

I a a checkered past of bars fights and long drives
Of red wine and cheap cigars and girls made out of gold
I'm a lot of things I've never hoped to be
I'm a lie waiting to explode into your brain
I'm a tattletale child bringing news of siblings done wrong
I am the worse thought you are currently thinking
And the best sex you'll ever have
I am a picture perfect copy of all the pleasure in your life
And all the shit that keeps you up at night
I am the center of all things evil
And the center of keeping you poor American children entertained
I'm a circle of lies and shortcomings you'll never see coming
I am a megalomaniac waiting for my turn at full control
I brought sin into world and I'm looking to take your soul to hell
I made Eve eat the apple and Samson cut his hair
I am lust and greed and everything inbetween
I am the angel thrown from heaven
And I'm looking to destroy your life

The Real Housewives of Orange County Have No Soul to Sell

I am a holy roller, sex threat level ten and she is the devil at work within me.
Like wine and cocaine we combine just fine.
Like rich old men and young blonde gold diggers, we were meant to be.
Her the parasite, me the host.
She is my boy hood fantasy girl and I'm her favorite college mistake.
We mean more to each other then we'll ever admit.
But she's a material girl and I'm busy burning down her favorite boutiques.
Her happiness outside of me is a Visa card with unlimited credit,
And I'm finding it very hard to keep her attention while she has cash at spend.
QVC is the soundtrack to late nights and bed fights, and I'm sick at tired of kitchen table countertops full of her receipts.
My religion and her shopping mall Jesus have never met but if they did they'd hate each other.
Yet strangely it seems that our mid-summer nights fling will leave her with more diamonds and me without a thing.
Well I not your sugar daddy and you're no prom queen
So let's find a way to end our midnight romps without my heart or wallet shattering
Because honey my love for you is as real as you think those diamond earrings are.
So enjoy tonight for one last time
Because tomorrow I'll be melting your heart of gold as you refine your taste for the finer things.
So all aboard and last call for this train out of nowhere and straight to the penthouse.
This ain't the last stop just the one you get off at.
See playing with my heart is like playing with fire and tonight you're getting burned.

A Ghost in My Heart

Soft winds stir faint echoes of shorelines long since passed
Memories off a warm sea breeze come rushing quickly back
Not aware of time or space or love of seasons known
Come songs from those still yet to come about the great unknown
Stillness sits and dreams a love now many years been dead
Hoping in the after-life to be lovers once again.

Time Spent

Sometimes me and Jesus will hang out at local bars
Drinking cold Stone White and smoking cheap cigars
We talk about the weather and our rundown beat up cars

God Save me Gin... Maybe

I keep trying, keep pushing on
And everyday, I'd like to think, I'm getting a little better
I hope...

Mark my words, today is not the last
Tomorrow could be worse but it will happen again
And this sin is eating away my heart
But I have got to try, because you're not giving up

Around and around and around I go
The floor is ever coming closer
I fall to my face, the glass spills from my hand
What a waste of good beer

My heart is a war between my soul and my mind
A constant desire to try and do right
Today was a good day, all things considered
Let's celebrate

You Belong Everywhere Part 2

You Belong Everywhere Part 1

Motivated by...

There are blood stained daggers lying in the snow
And I'm confused at this murder scene at my hands
This killing of all that is holy lies in my hands
Yet all I can say is this is how it had to happen
What now, where do I go?
God answer me, guide me
My new life as drifter, fugitive lies before me
And my new reputation will be with me no matter how far I run

Do you really see everything?
Do you know the story of this poor life which I took my own two hands?
Do you still forgive the murderous heart?
Yet nothing matters when I feel as far from you as I do now.
Life seems a meaningless struggle as I strive and strive for you
Yet everyday I feel like a failure, that you're not there

Hoping tonight that your forgiveness for this knife I used
Will bring me closer to you, more then ever before
Yet... I'm doubting that my tactics were right
And now I own a killers life... but I'm hoping for a heart of God

Hold My Hand, Take a Breath

Take a deep breath love and stand on the edge
Of this night long kiss carried on this winters end
A moment of time, not to be replaced
By the wonderful chaos we see everyday
A joining of lips, a tugging of hearts
Backed by the whispers of lovers in arms
To see where we'll go, we have not a clue
But locked hand in hand we jump into the new

The Departed

I wonder what would happen if we were to part?
How long before I no longer miss you?
How long before I could no longer stand a day without your scent, Your touch, you kiss?
Would I miss you lying next to me at night?
Or would my life be full of happiness?
Would the world seem a little bit brighter, more full of promise?
Or would nothing change?
Would my meaningless life continue to go on just as it always has?

Let's not find out.

A Brand New Gospel

Mark my words and take a bow
This final performance, a lasting veil
Your masquerade is over now

The lights go up, the stage now clear
And the audience is already dead.
Their souls, their souls you tried to save
But in the end the devil had his way.
Your followers or so it seemed
Were to consumed in in human beings
A celebrity they put their trust
But you're a fraud like the rest of us.

Drink up, drink up and don't shed a tear
Another town is drawing near
With fresh new faces everywhere
Eagerly awaiting for one true gospel.

Red Chucks and Starbucks

The world largest coffee chain the setting of choice
For a brief encounter that would change the course of my life
A nameless barista hands to a faceless customer
A mediocre cup of coffee and an away with you smile
Then before I walk out you come round the corner
Your red chucks the stand out to your uniform inane
You run to me, a strange really, like you would an old friend
Your arms round my neck, my lips on your face
Your 10 minter break is all that it takes
To spark a new longing, one for the other
I walk out the door, hoping this not the last
Time that I see my new love everlasting

This encounter I remember and am thankful for starbucks
For your employment at that exact moment in time
That God had arranged that meeting for us
Is a wonder to me and I feel blessed from above

Lament of the Sailor

Found a broken spirit and it looks like mine
A passion now dead from a life lived forlorn
A ship in the distance is calling my name
But with no destination it all sounds the same
A sailor on land, my life is on pause
When my ship came in I was long gone

Awaken the dawn as I find a new boat
For my heart is longing for an ocean to call home

Trapped

Tie me up
I'm sorry for today
These tear of lost eyes wandering
It makes relish in time spent alone
A cry for help not heard except for God above
Make joy from sorrow if there is such a way
Oh God I feel like I've lost my way
Bring to me a savior for my heart is still broken
I need yet an answer to my windowless room

Post Modern History of a Well Worn Heart

I watched you break and fade away
Screaming as they laughed your name
Today was not your day

Arise to the top and forget what you're not
A clean get away is better then to stop
You think about the life you have, the falsehood you've become
A making of something deeper then a lie you've overcome

Wake up oh soul, wake up of child
And take the time to look deep inside
Make up your mind of a life once lost
Oh the feelings that have been tossed
Tonight we take our senses back
Not glancing to see what is lacked

Killing Time Till It's Time To Die

Mark my words, you'll never say a word
That sounds like speech to me
These empty tombs, these corpses lying
Make me stronger in my beliefs
"Fight the system" is no corporate line but a system of lies
Sold to a generation in panic.
Arise oh sleeper, were you ever sleeping
Or have we ignored you all along
We're killing time till you call us home
Oh great and mighty one
Take back the streets from enemies
A godhead where we don't belong
A rushing sound is never the sign
But this silence is deafening
We won't relent our souls to tonight
But our lives mean more to us
So rip out the pews and tear down the curtain
The night is ours and we haven't forgotten
Our convictions bring us to rebellion
Against the loveless one
Without a true God

A little something something (Untitled)

The last sound at night is your voice in my ear
And in the morning I longer for your face to see
My dear, you're never far and never near enough
This distance makes my heart ache
I long for the day when we're together
Forever with you by my side
I wait in anticipation for that day
And hope that you'll remain with me

Dance with Me

Take me away, I'm lost
Drowning myself slowly looking for answers to questions never asked
A piece of me is floating on a river to the sea
Lost and gone forever and broken heart of me
Dance away the pain I feel inside
The wickedness I still conceal
My heart opens to one less perfect then the one whom holds the key
Drown my sorrows one more night, one more time
Take me away and I won't fight
Because all this world is locked inside my soul
And I give nothing back... and I give everything

Awake oh sleeper and kill the day
My mountain side monster, that bastard within me
Take heart and hold on tight to everything I feel
But lock away my fear and replace it with the great hope
Ask me not what's wrong, but hold me close
I wait for peace and love, for a countryside view
Of sunshine on my face, of moonlight spreading grace
This puzzle broken heart put together as one

Fight of Relapse

Focus the image, I'll never come back
Breaking this cycle of needed relax
But the right of myself is lost in the day
Forever a dreamer with little to say
Oh wake my mind and give new life
To the pen and paperless simple of kind
A new generation of laziness breeds
This fire and anger and passion in me
But to do, oh God what do I say
To a people who looks to much like me

"Maybe the Lord will act on our behalf"

Take hold of me and let me breathe
For the fear is still gripping tightly
A shattered dream, I'm afraid I'll come
But there's more to me then this run down job
A purpose in life is all I ask
Yet you've handed me this life long task
Failure lurks within my mind
So I don't dare step out where you're by my side
"Maybe the Lord will act on our behalf"
Or maybe I'll die, or worse, they'll all laugh
It's not that I don't think it's true
This calling that runs through and through
But the fear that some will mock my name
Is causing me to bring you shame

The Price of Beauty

Star light, Star bright
I've captured your radiance here tonight
A look around and the things I see
Do very little to interest me
But the glow I saw when I looked at you
Alone in the sky, I knew it was true
That hope was found in the oddest places
And have you I would, I swore to myself
So the journey began to catch a star
And alas I found it not very hard
The years I've focus all my love
My energy, the desires of heart
To making your beauty only mine
I took you from the world you shined
Ashamed I offer my mistake
To the world to mock me, my created fate

A sailor's letter home

If i was lost at sea with no hope in sight,
I'd send a message in a botle addressed to you.
And the simple note would read "I love you."
In my fleeting moments it would be your face, your memory on my mind.

She Always Wears My Favorite Color

Divided I wake, thy soul unturned
The blessing of caught, of shunned, of burned
Leave now the murderers, flee the scene
Judgment is coming to rapture thee
Alas a new mystery, shrouded in black
Comes calling my name, seductive attack
Run though I must, leaves little unchanged
A new set of problems but my heart is the same

Let This Be a Lesson to The One That Gets Away

I find it very comforting when you talk like that
But your eyes can't hide the frustration inside
So take a step back and listen to lies
Then justify yourself and only to yourself
That words you said meant anything
Anything more then a 10 cent cigarette
That calmed the nerve for the first drag... and nothing after

Drink up, drink up, all your demon friends yelled
So you walked to the bar, your own personal hell
My heart left unchanged and your voice still untrue
But when I walk away, your feelings turn blue
The sorrow now left by my footprint impression
A stain on your soul, yet you learned not a lesson

Oh hardened heart wake up and scream
Today is the day when winter fades to spring
Alas it is coming, the day of your new
Too bad I won't see it, I've broken us too.

40 days worth of poetry

Not really. I did write a handful of poems during my 40 day fast that I will now share.


"A Whisper on the Breeze"

Sadness will infect the mind
And sickness pass comes in due time
Along the roof a whisper carries
On the wind his words to her
You're beautiful
And you are Loved


"The Secret's That Won't Share Themselves"

Her precious past a mystery
The shattered tears of history
A road so painful, so alone
Apart from it she hasn't grown
A hand reached out to take her place
And share the emotion upon her face
She turns her head revealing not
While my aching heart leaves bruised and crushed


"My Heart Screams for Something More Then This Failed Life I Keep"

I feel exposed beyond belief
These paper walls are not discreet
The broken bones of my soul
I have no reason to be told
But through the tears I hear her voice
As in her little frame she holds
My trembling, crying body
With a love I've never known


"The Moment That Seemed to Last Forever"

There is a place I retreat
In the beauty of your love
And I find myself at peace
Awaiting grace above
My heart explodes in singing
In laughter and in tears
I feel myself awaken
In your everlasting arms

All Else Failed

The shattered remains are falling like glass
A glint of hesitation, afraid of what I might ask
The turning of tides has already past
As I sit on the pier, am I really the last?

Tomorrow a shadow of failure unknown
The death of my right hand, the name unbeknownst
Glimmer a spot of blood that was shed
Now empty life floods a voice in my head

A murder so cruel but what's to be done
The need left by one life consumed by new blood
The hearts broken murder
Replaced by new love

Falling of Deaf Ears

Stabs of painted light stand still
Gazing shadows walk faster till
The sound of silence lends a part
The very nature of this art
A glimmer of hope yet all consumed
The very one is chosen still
To bring a message painted black
The ears that fall upon won't last
But somewhere in the smoke filled crowd
An open mind will soon reveal
The meaning to the broken tale
A fragmented line no longer stale
A half drunk soul will leave tonight
With a sense of purpose, that all is right

Her Smiled Warmed My Heart and Her Words Spoke of Hope

I've been running for so long looking for a safe place
But discomfort never seems to far behind
I'm hiding in the shadows looking for a glimpse of hope
And out the corner of my eye the sun does start to show
So without looking back at a starless past
I run into the warmth of the brightly glowing one

Sing Once for Me

Give me a reason to leave but I won’t take it
At this moment without you, I wouldn’t make it
Try with your might to push me away
But an opportunity is all I can say
The moment so sweet with you in my arms
But I want your trust, I promise no harm
My heart in a box, I offer and ask
For you to take it, but not just to smash
The angels in heaven could sing me a song
But a day without you, I’d still feel all wrong
The smile you see, you placed on my lips
And the words I bring now, I ask not to twist
The moments with you are precious but few
And I recall every moment as if it were knew
My ways are not perfect but for you I would change,
My life for the better, if you’d still feel the same
So sing once for me and hold your hand
In a second I’d take it and not let you land,
Alone on the floor with no where to turn
I promise my darling together we’d burn
These words said in honest I give now to you
And please take my honor, that these things are true.

Maybe They Will Sing for Us Tomorrow

This is a piece I wrote while listening to the new Hammock record.


"Moments feel endless, as angels pass unaware
Their songs once filling heaven, now stifle in dead air
We all mourn the passing of a day long since gone
The mouths of the poets echo confused song
Still I whisper a shout that is heard by not one
And I keep coming back to a love holding on
Creep though I may, through broken hallway glass
I want just to be near, though not to see when I pass
Mistake of my heart, mistake of the day
From beginning of Winter, till this day in May
My footsteps are heard in the big empty house
A look and a smile and I feel like a louse
I fix my gaze away, ashamed and despaired
But in the moment of stillness, there’s forgiveness in the air
With tear filled eyes I run through the streets
A new joy in spirit, no sense of defeat
With the dawn of the day, the rise of the sun
Comes a moment to redeemed my life I have ruined
Maybe there is hope through my sorrow
Maybe they will sing for us tomorrow.

At 5, The City Sleeps

I wish the night would last forever
And I would hold you in my arms
But the mornings dawn is closer still
Alas my love, I leave at will
Knowing come tomorrow's sun
It's your eyes my mind's set upon
And I'll wait until we meet again
To hold once more my love and friend

A Song for...

"You are grace in understanding
A whisper in my pain filled world
The joy that takes my breathe away
A light amid the pearls

The love shines through at night
And in his heart, you take delight
An angel smile across your lips
And my life feels so alive"

I Feel in Love on a Metro Train

As conversation died on that rainy night
We rode the train north ward, to conclude our time
The drone of the engine and coffee breath
You lay your head against my neck
In silence we rode sitting close to each other
And I would not have asked for another
To share this moment with this eve
Then the pretty young girl sleeping next to me.

Lament

Time has brought me back to this empty pier
Where I first set sail so many years ago
To find a place I'd never seen before
Well all that time I'd left a love ignored
Her once star lit eyes have dulled with age
And her love for me and flame now dead
As we faced each other this one last time
We both can see that our love has died
And I the murderer that faithful day
When I left her heart at dock on the bay.

Lost in Paris

Salvation is here but you fled the scene
And I look for a friend but all I find are these four walls.
The freedom you spoke of has yet to arrive
I just feel trapped and lost inside
This great peace hasn't shown up yet
And freedom in Christ, seems choked out yet
There's a glimmer of hope at the end of each day
If only someone was around to cast it my way
I know there's something more in this life with Christ
But you abandoned me to a church full of flies
And I'm looking hard, and harder still
To find this powerful God and his will
But this place is full of hypocrites and liars
And my sin to them makes me stink of bile
So I pray and pray and I call out to God
To save my soul from being a fraud
And bring me into amazing grace
I'd feel you shining down on my face
I know you're out there and so much more
Then this four wall black mail, chains on doors
So far I flee from this wicked place
And finally I find your sweet embrace

Nothing in This World Feels Right

"It seems every minute spent away is a moment to many
And this night I have seen that my moments are few
So I sit on the edge of this beach you have made
Praying for hours that you'd take me away

Take me away to land far away
Something like Oz that most people call heaven
A fairy tale love in a fairy tale world
With a preposterous God
That I'd call mine own"

Tears of an Angel

In a garden over grown
I'm sure I've seen it all
And I sit wondering to myself
Is this it?

Then I look up by the rose bush
To see an angel alone
And as I venture my way closer
I hear her tiny sobs

I sit down right beside her
Not knowing what to say
She's a broken angel
And I'm just a man

The moment lasts for hours
As the sun makes it's way to bed
When she finally turns to me
And lays her precious head.

In her rest I see quite clearly
Why she was crying all alone
She's my guardian angel
And I'm her broken boy.

New Stuff... well semi new stuff

I haven't taken the time over the past week to post anything new so here you go.

Early thoughts while taking a walk on a cold morning
"Around every turn I take
A cold wind smacks me in the face
Just like you did that night...

And I swore my love, that I'd have revenge
For the mockery you did make of then then
But... that thought was quick fleeting.

For how can I hurt your pretty face? "


Stars
"Explosion in the night, sent tiny stars a flying
All around the universe they sailed never knowing
Their final destination was meant to be
A piece of hope that glimmered in my life "


Every Now And Then I'm Inspired, Despite my Present Outlook (The Fear is What Keeps Us Here)
"A calm rains falls at my feet
And in a distance memory I see
Her face that very faithful day
When I released the feelings held

Her words still hit me like a knife
A cold mantra practice over time
And I'd heard these very words before
From the same lips that spoke them now.
A cold shade of blue filled my room
And all that was beautiful, broke in full bloom

And though I'd never seen an angel cry
I've heard the devil laugh many a time
And it was that moment she spoke to me
Maybe, someday, just wait and see. "


Nothing More Then a Pretty Face
"At face value she was nothing more then a pretty face in the crowd
But there was a passion, a fire, behind her beautiful eyes.
It seem such a shame, that at such a young age
In the form of a man, her song was taken away.
Pain grew with age, the hurt inside of rape
She said “**** the world” and at her bed she lay.

But Lord from on high, came down to her side
And breathed in new forgiveness and completeness inside.
Awaken she found, her poor heart restored
And a love that she’d thought, was dead on her floor.

The smile shines brighter, then I’d seen before
As she walks hand in hand, with her lover, The Lord. "

Innocent Girl (Do You Even Exist)

She tortures me with her sinister smile (but oh how beautiful it looks tonight).
And I scream for this to end as her stare lingers just a second longer.
And she's out the door but it's to late
She's got my attention and it's killing me
This beautiful one, this evil one
The girl will be the death of me
But we'll never find out....
She's gone and I'm alone, another one of her tortured souls.

Like playing second fiddle in a two fiddle band

"No Clearance" the sign read,
As she walked away shaking her head
Once again she's been past over
She's waiting on a train to take her away

Once upon a time, she'd of been a queen
And people from the around the world would have come to see
The beauty evidence through her life would show
In all the world her greatness would grow

But she'd been rejected for the last time
No more living outcast and damned
The trains arrival, her ticket out
Of this cruel world, to heaven she's bound

Faith Expressing Itself In Love

I thought for a long time about the things I would say
But the word that came were just a spare memory
And how would express this thing
The joy in my heart, that makes me want to sing (not that I'd actually do it)

Love them were the words that made the most sense
So I put down my pen and left hoping for a chance
To meet someone new and show them a side
Of a new kind of humanity, with Christ's love inside

I Don't Believe You (She Acts Like We Never Have Met)

On a cold December night
We sit outside her favorite restaurant
Chain smoking with all the vagabonds
Singing all our favorite Dylan songs
And I plead into her emerald eyes
"Doll please don't go!"
Yet her moves betray the very words
She spoke to me the night before
"It's not for long, my dearest one"

Conflict

"The only thing worth writing about is the human heart in conflict with itself"
William Faulkner


Early morning thoughts while taking a walk in the cold

"Around every turn I take
A cold wind smacks me in the face
Just like you did that night...

And I swore my love, that I'd have revenge
For the mockery you did make of then then
But... that thought was quick fleeting.

For how can I hurt your pretty face? "


Going Remorselessly to Hell with a Piano

"In spite of better judgement I let her take me by the hand and led me out the door
This night will end badly but I need her like a newborn to their mother
And though come morning I will forget the reason why
I let her lead to the back alley bar that Satan himself owns.

Through the door I see that evil grin as the devil pours another shot
And though I shouldn't, I accept it willingly
Tonight let's feast like kings because the reality of tomorrow will just depress me.

She leads me to the corner booth that just last week I swore I wouldn't be back to
And with the sweetest voice I've heard tonight she whispers "Kiss Me"

And I offer up a simple prayer, 'Lord please forgive me"

See I know where this night ends... "

Sex is a Tragedy That Ends in Heartache

We took a trip to the city
All the girls outside were pretty
But I had the most gorgeous one of all right beside me.

Then we took a trip to the country
And there were butterflies a plenty
But their beauty paled in comparison to you.

But beauty is not what I care most about
So I planned this little trip
To see if there was more to us then making love

And what I found is I'm a weak man
And I saw that your a hypocrite
That only praise God when it benefits you the most.

So what to say to a former love
Whom I know this won't end nicely
But alas I step aside and break her heart

And she ran off to foreign countries
Where she would one day get married
And I stay at home and spent the rest of my life alone.

I regret, not a single moment I spent without her
For the silence let me spend
Some much needed time with my precious Lord.

Send More Stars

It seems to me that what I have in a discipline problem
But Lord I can't figure it out on my own
So I sit under the stars and meditate on the name
The saved my life from death and and the grave
But that day seems for very far and changed so much
And I continue to fight with this idea of you
And who I'm supposed to be in you
And I don't agree with the rest of thee
Who claim to be just like me
But they don't get the ideas I see...

...if it was happiness I had really wanted I wouldn't still be here...

But I am and that means there's more to this !

So I must confess it feels pretty hopeless sometimes
And my ways seem so far off track with what you did
But give up shall I not, for I fight the fight and push upstream
Because I'm not the norm in their church philosophy

But... that's not why I'm here anyway.

p.s. Send more Stars.

When I Didn't Run, She Turned Away

There was whiskey on her breathe and death in her smile
And she held my attention, if only for a little while
And so I left her there in South Berlin
At the wall dividing river states
And the song she sang as I raised the sails
Was not one to contemplate

See it was that girl who played with my heart
So I had to run away
From her beautiful smile and heart breaker eyes
That would steal the rest of my days.

Shakespeare wasn't far off

All the world's a stage
Though I'm not great actor
But I have one hell of a mask
And when it's on you'll never even see the real me
And that's just how I like it, I'd much rather hide
Because on the inside I'm mighty flawed
And I'm not sure I want you to see what's really me

Angela's Song

There's an expression of time that hides in her eyes
But I saw it once when she shared a smile
And my heart did break as she shed a tear
And freed herself from childish fear.

Red Wine on Christmas

With a glass of red wine and Vince Guaraldi on
I sit by myself beside the Christmas tree
I reflect on the year and look through the greed
And like good ole Charlie Brown
I try to find meaning.
Because it's not that I mind the gifts under the tree
Infact I'm looking forward to the ones that belong to me
But I know that there's more and I know that you care
Because if you hadn't, I wouldn't be here still
So I take this small moment, on a cold Christmas eve
With a now empty wine glass and a cat at my sleeve
And say thanks to my father, whose love I still need

The Problem

I could count for years how I lost my way
And by your standards, today was not a good day
See I try and fail
And I try again... only to fail again
Oh whoa is me that I can't seem to ever get this right
G*d what must be done, when will I see the light
Or will I wander around forever
Looking for a peace that will never come?

My past remains and in this moment my futures not bright
And the struggle is seems endless but I continue to suggest a fight
But my own self is weak
And the affliction runs deep
But the choice is still mine
And I've considered defeat.

Though I pray for forgiveness and say that I'm sorry
By this time tomorrow, it's the same old story
Though G*d never gives up
I'm still breaking his heart
I feel lost and alone
Not sure where to start.

The Devil is Near But I Wouldn't Want Her Anywhere Else

My love, my love stand next to me
And wrap your frame oh so tightly
Even though all you'll cause me is pain
I love it when you're near all the same
Because despite my deep dark hate of you
There's this thing in my heart that won't go without
That smile you give is oh so nice
And if I never see it again I wouldn't think twice
Because behind those eyes, oh Gorgeous eyes
Is your sisister heart, with your evil plan
But I prayed before and I'll pray again
For God to keep you in his hands
But until the day you make your turn
I'll continue to hold you near.

je leverai les yeux a toi.

Something my friend Lindsay posted earlier today.

"Why do we live for anything but Him? Why do we chase things that are meaningless? Why do we run for things that'll kill us in the end? Why do we keep our focus on death?

Why can't we live for what we should? Why can't we run after Him with everything we have?

Oh but we can!

Why do we choose to look the other way? Why do we choose to be ignorant? Why do we choose to hold on? Why do we choose to care? Why do we choose to follow the world... even if we say we're not? Why do we fall, and stay there, instead of getting back up? Why can't we be bigger then ourselved? We never live for anything but ourselves, and i don't understand it. We're all human, we aren't perfect, but... we can strive for that.

We can put ourselves behind us, and run for the cross.

Weekend works

There's a Heartache Over the Rainbow

With every passing step she took
I knew she'd never give a look
Back the way from which she came
Her life she thought best to begin again

"The ship set sail that faithful day
And holding on, her mighty claim
That would speak of fairy tales
About her life, amist the gales

She never thought herself ordinary
A prince or king she thought she'd marry
So she left behind a common life
Only to become a sailors wife

And her one true love she left behind
Would not last long, with her gone he died
But a single tear he never shed
On wings of angels is how fled

Over the rainbow, to heaven above
To only one he really loved."



Untitled

"There's this joy in my heart that I wish I could hide
Because after joy shortly follows is pain
And try as I might to relish the moment
The tide comes in and my shattered heart washes into the sea.

And I pour myself out, to a God I can't see
Asking to fix my brokenness, and put my frantic mind at ease

Colaspsed on the shore, I feel joy returning
And I hold on too tightly
For the tide starts it's churning

A whisper is shared, with the sea coming in
My heart now restored, as my joys swept away. "

A song about a girl. Who found God... and then vanished

How could I consider letting go
Of the light, that I seen, inside her grow
To a woman, whose love you chose to show
And the grace that touched her heart.

To me you lead her wanting
For a truth, to her seemed new
And my heart leapt of prayers answered
Of the girl I always knew

But alas our time was fleeting
And she's sailed a different course
But can I just turn and leave her
My heartbeats with more remorse

...And... I'd already fallen in love...

"Forgive Me" were the only words they read...

"Reconciliation!
I hope to find through my confession
Accept this as a demonstration of love."

My Sin has a hold of Me

"What must it take for me to prove
Holy and righteous, unblemeshed to you?

But the stain on my heart runs deep within
A sick twist crimson, in the form of my sin.

Yet the only one who can take my blame
Is the very one I've put to shame.

So I hide myself from the very one
Who no matter how I try, I can't escape from.

I wish, so sincere, but a strong will I lack
And I run to whore, who's knife's in my back."

Bell of the Ball

When she enters the room
She makes every head turn
She's the Bell of the ball
She the fairest of all

But tonight is the night
With her target in sight
She'll not wait another moment
For Mr. Right to blow it

She's calling the shots
And taking her chances
While the other girls mock
And return to their dances

But she won't be dismayed
She's made up her mind
And the whole town will talk
But oh what a find

With courage in hand
And hope in her heart
She approaches the man
But has no place to start...

Confusion aside
She takes him aside
"I'm in love" she exclaims
With a smile real wide.

Back Doors Lead to Secrets

She walks into the room with presence of importance
And from my dark little corner I stare... just a moment to long

But she walks on by...

And I return to my beer, as she exits from the rear...

But for just one moment I sensed it in the air
That there was more that just happened here...

Not that I'll ever know

November Rain

She turns to me and smiles
With a look she only gives me
And I wrap my arounds her
Never wanting to let go
And her deep blue eyes search through me
So I look down to meet her gaze
And we stand embraced for hours
In the cool November rain.

I woke up inspired

Various writings throughout the day.

“Death on the Mind”

Thought after though rolled around in my head
But the one at the front was I wish she was dead.




“To Love an Orphan”

Oh little girl, in her room all alone
In the little orphanage, that you call a home.
Out the window you stare, with hope in your eyes
Praying that today, you’d be this family’s worthwhile.

A quick check in the cracked mirror
To make sure your hair straight
With your pretty red dress on
You head down the stairs to greet.

An old man and his old wife
Sit quietly on the couch
And with a gentle smile
You silently approach

A word or two is shared
Between you and this dear couple
And then you’re escorted
So they can chat a while

Worry crowds your head
And you begin to fear the worst
When in walks the old lady
And your stomach starts to lurch

She reaches down to touch
Your sun stroked golden hair
Then puts her arms around you
And whispers “Please come home my dear.”

With joy you start to cry
And say a simple prayer
Thanking God your sending
Little girls like you his favor.




“If It’s Over, Say It’s Over”

Months pass, and I’m began to get the sense
That she’s long since gotten over me.
But how could that be?

It seems like only yesterday
When conversation came naturally
And we’d sit and talk about spiritual things
But she’s long since spent anytime at all
Trying to hold court with me about just anything.

And I’d give up hope
But I prayed to God
That if she’s still around
Then she’d just drop a line.
(isn’t it funny when you ask God for something, he answers?)

Then she gives me a call, just to say hi
And I throw up my hands and think
“God why?”

But secretly I smile and wait for the day
When my precious friend
Comes home to stay.




“Father, Savior, King”

Lifestyle fragmentation on the floor
And I couldn’t have ever asked for more
Then a loving Father, Savior, King
Whatever you are, you’re just right for me

You walked into the room and put the pieces together
Of my poor broken heart, I couldn’t do better
Then a loving Father, Savior, King
Whoever you are, thanks for saving me.

New Work

I did a little writing today.


"The God and the Devil are Raging Inside Me"

here was a lock on the door but you kicked it in
And I said "HELL NO! I won't let you win!"

But the devil himself came thru the front door
And started to wreak havoc all over my heart.

And I cried and tried to defeat him myself
But oh did Satan defeat me with my own doubt.

So I prayed to the Lord to take back control
And get rid of the best who had his hold

And the Lord to me, oh precious one
This may take some time before it's done.

"Oh my God, that's fine with me
As long as the end product is victory."

And the war began between God and the Devil
Over my heart, which I couildn't defend.

But the promise remains,
Jesus Wins!


"The One Who Almost Went Astray"

Hope had never seemed so far away
Then it had when he ran, on that cold winter's day

From a town full of problems, he'd know leave behind
And he'd end up somewhere, where they couldn't find

No tlong after leaving, he was tapped on his shoulder
By his guardian angel, just hovering over

"Where is it you plan on ending up?"

"I'm not sure yet but it'll be better than this
But I most push on or my train I will miss."

"Your problems will follow
Wherever you go.
And your mother is sick
Young man, please head home."

"But this damn town will get me, if I stick around."

"If you'd change your perspective, you'd see another side of this old town.

You're young and confused and running away
From the people who love you and want you to stay."

"But I've spent my whole, the unwanted bastard son."

"Tell that to your mother, who even of her death bed,
Prays desperately for her loved ones.

Now hurry home quick and start sharing your love,
With the poor folks in town, those who have none."

So he turned and began, the slow walk into town
While up in the heavens, God smiled down

On a son once lost, who had now become found
And the love he would show, the once run down town.

The Fire Snowfall Brings HOPE! ...and worry

The first snowfall fall brings HOPE!, and worry...

He sits by window in favorite chair
And through splintered glass, just just stares

At autmun leaves come tumbling down
From big oak trees, high, HIGH above the ground.

And dreams of the day when the first snowflake falls
And the joy it will bring... well maybe.

With the first snow of winter comes home his dear love
From her ocean side house, which she went long ago.

And so much has changed, since that spring afternoon
When she kissed him goodbye and said "I'll be back someday soon."

With jacket in hand he heads for the door
And lights up a smoke, to wonder some more

His hearts to shatters, then skips
But he's just not sure yet

Will she like his new beard, that he grew in the spring
And his mind keeps on wandering, to if she still wears his ring.

With nothing left to put his mind at ease
He heads into town for a bite to eat.

But he hopes with his heart that snow will come soon
And he can be with his love, from midnight to noon.

Coffee and Cigarettes

In a dark room, in a back booth, sit a lonely man.

And coffee and cigarettes rest in his hands.

With each shaky sip, with each deepening draft

He contemplates the years gone pass.

From bitter divorce and ugly death

To long lost loves, on the oceans depth

Lost in the moment, a waitress walks by

"Sir, may I refill glass?" and he begins to cry.

In confusion she steps to leave

But the man reached out and grabbed her sleeve.

"I'm sorry miss but I must confess

You look just like my daughter in the light blue dress."

With fresh coffee in hand, he lights another smoke

And heads for door, putting back on his coat.

Outside the door, a stranger approaches,

"Sir would mind lending a smoke?"

For a moment they sit, smoking in silence...


Before the stranger turns to leaves
He asks the man, "Would you like to find peace?"

In relief he cries, "Oh Jesus"
"I thought that was you but I wasn't sure'

"If you follow me, I can take all that pain
And you'll never feel unloved again."

As the sailor and Jesus walk down that dark alley

With cold cups of coffee and cigarette ashes trailing

They enter ia friendship, no one can destroy

The mans heart now filled, with nothing but Joy!

The Collected Works of...

I'm going to post a couple of poems tonight. The first is a poem I wrote called "BANG!" The other two are poems written by my friend Lindsay with some addition by me. Enjoy.


"BANG!"

"The whisper of her bombshell broke my heart

BANG!

The gunshot rang out like a flashlight in the dark.

I tried to grasp the meaning in her words and failed.

I saw her jacket on the bed
As I feel to the ground, motionless and dead.

The devil in a white dress.

She stared down at me, bent down and kissed me.
Whispered on our wedding night, I don't love dear.

It would've broken my heart, I might've shed a tear.

But things like this don't matter.
My new bride was my killer.

I tried to grasp her words and failed...

Because I was already dead."



"Your Song"

"Singing with the wind,
(I SCREAM)

Dancing in the rain
(Letting it soak deeply)

Don't look back, your on your way.
(and I am left behind)

You can't see,
(Blinded by your fears)

You can't hear.
(drowning in your tears)

But you have all you need.
(Does this include me?)

All you'll ever need.
(Not including me)

You may not know where you're going,
(On this journey you have started)

But don't look back,
(That's dangerous)

You're on your way.
(to find that place called home)

What's tomorrow without today?
(more empty, broken promises)

What's a beginning without an end?
(too many tears you don't need to cry)

What's love without some pain?
(another empty ritual)

What's joy without Your song?
(Sing to me again) "



"The Voice in the Corner"

"A voice!

She heard her playing in her mind.

Who is this girl I hear?
Where's the voice(passion) I once knew.

A cold breeze freezes the room.
She waits, ever so silently,
She waits for something new.

COME and save me! HEAR me out!

Where is the beauty i once knew(I once was)?
Where is the smile that once broke the silence?

Who is she? What does she want? Could she be...

Come and save me. "

Making Right the Mistakes of My Youth

If tonight is the night that I breathe my last breath
Then I'm taking this moment to make request.

Will you go out to the street and find this young girl
Then bring her to my side before to heaven I go.

With my last bit of strength, I'll take her hand
And look deep in her eyes and say like a man

I'm sorry I left you, that cold November day
When you wait by docks, til the first week in May

See, I wasn't sure I ready to make you my wife
A decision I regretted the rest of my life.

But before I passed, I had to make it right
And make sure that you knew, you were the love of life.

So take care young girl and please don't hold a grudge
Against your untamed sailor, who wasn't sure of love.

At Night, The Sky Shows Death

I sit alone under a half moon sky
And with unlit cigarettes I scream GOD WHY?

But when no reply comes I just sit and cry.

I don’t want to question the way that you move
But if you’re not real, I won’t live without you.

Chase the Lion

Mark Batterson posted this on his blog and I love it so I'm posting it.

Quit living as if the purpose of life is to arrive safely at death. Set God-sized goals. Pursue God-ordained passions. Go after a dream that is destined to fail without divine intervention. Keep asking questions. Keep making mistakes. Keep seeking God. Stop pointing out problems and become part of the solution. Stop repeating the past and start creating the future. Stop playing it safe and start taking risks. Expand your horizons. Accumulate experiences. Enjoy the journey. Find every excuse you can to celebrate everything you can. Live like today is the first day and last day of your life. Don't let what's wrong with you keep you from worshiping what's right with God. Burn sinful bridges. Blaze a new trail. Criticize by creating. Worry less about what people think and more about what God thinks. Don't try to be who you're not. Be yourself. Laugh at yourself. Quit holding out. Quit holding back. Quit running away.

Hearts

I should be seeping right now but I was hit with a verse and wanted to write it real quick.

"Winter hearts will break whence freezed
And summer hearts burn easily.
In Spring and fall we mend and sew
our shattered hearts for new loves to hold.
But our twine is fragile and again we'll break
our little hearts we give away.
We sit and wait, and watch and hope
for someone to come and fill this hole.
To love us in the heat and snow
Through our highs and in our lows.
We sit by window sills and stare
At our one true love, just standing there.
They knock at our door and call name
But we're tired of playing this silly game.
The sun goes down and they walk away,
but tomorrow is another day."

World Waits

I really need to start taking the advice I give to others for myself. It's so easy for me to offer advice and give encouragment without taking that advice for myself. Lately I've really felt like I need some encouragment in my life.

Anyway, the advice I gave/give that I should take for myself is to not let screw ups to mess up your life and throw you of course. I think as a christian it's easy for me to beat myself up for messing up and missing the mark but God wants us to get up and continue. We're only human and we're not perfect and we're going to miss the mark from time to time. The idea is to not give up but to keep going.


Here's a video for Jeremy Enigk's song "World Waits". It's an incredible song (and incredible album) that I've been listening to a lot lately.

Just ask

A quick in the moment inspiration post. I was reading in Exodus and what Moses says to God sticks out to me.

"Moses said to the LORD, "You have been telling me, 'Lead these people,' but you have not let me know whom you will send with me. You have said, 'I know you by name and you have found favor with me.' If you are pleased with me, teach me your ways so I may know you and continue to find favor with you. Remember that this nation is your people.
"The LORD replied, "My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest."

Then Moses said to him, "If your Presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here. How will anyone know that you are pleased with me and with your people unless you go with us? What else will distinguish me and your people from all the other people on the face of the earth?"

And the LORD said to Moses, "I will do the very thing you have asked, because I am pleased with you and I know you by name."

Then Moses said, "Now show me your glory."

And the LORD said, "I will cause all my goodness to pass in front of you, and I will proclaim my name, the LORD, in your presence. I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion. But," he said, "you cannot see my face, for no one may see me and live."

Then the LORD said, "There is a place near me where you may stand on a rock. When my glory passes by, I will put you in a cleft in the rock and cover you with my hand until I have passed by. Then I will remove my hand and you will see my back; but my face must not be seen."

Exodus 33:12-23

I think sometimes we're so afraid to ask God for something because we're afraid he'll say no or we'll not get an answer but Moses wasn't afraid. He knew what he wanted and what he wanted God to do for him and the people of Israel and he just asked God.

Don't be afraid to ask. Be bold and ask!

Inspiration

Moving Forward
by Rainer Maria Rilke

"The deep parts of my life pour onward,
as if the river shores were opening out.
It seems that things are more like me now,
That I can see farther into paintings.
I feel closer to what language can't reach.
With my senses, as with birds, I climb
into the windy heaven, out of the oak,
in the ponds broken off from the sky
my falling sinks, as if standing on fishes."







THE DAWN OF WEIRD
by Derrick C Brown

‘Twas the dawn of Weird
and I had woken up early.

There was no difference between
sky and sea,
so dogs chased tennis balls into the shore break
of cumulus clouds.

Sea lions flew point
in the formations of sparrows.

Fishermen caught birds,
apologized
and set them free.
The birds were understanding and as a gift
brought back worm sandwiches
which were surprisingly tasty.

Airplanes landed safely underwater
as mermaids guided us in with pop-electric jellyfish.

Guns had turned to black licorice.
All the cops were nibbling on shotguns
and one by one all the criminals cried
and turned themselves in
to the dentist.

Hospitals morphed and became
rubber bounce castles.
They had to call security
to usher out the scalpels
and to keep the elderly
from hogging the twisty slide.

Billboards became drive-in movie screens
replaying what our feet looked like
when we were chasing our dreams.

Everyone walked home.

And all the tombstones
in all the graveyards
crumbled into seeds.

Flora bloomed immediately.

Bees halted on the outskirts
of the cemetery walls,
reverence for the ending,
the passing of all.

With antennae bowed
and honey tears starting,
they pledged to stand guard
of the bright human garden.

The largest pile of flowers…
It rose from your name.
The wind swelled a whisper
That said

‘They’re O.K., they’re all O.K.’

My Lord, it was a solid mountain of sunflowers.

The world blazed in color and I welcomed the change.
It was the dawn of weird and the morning of strange.

Amazing how all this
did come to pass,
just a child cutting loose
in a poetry class.

Be a Light

8/4 Journal Entry

Be A Light:

Jesus called us a light. A couple things jump to my mind. First is this picture of light as a guide. When it’s dark people gravitate towards the light. When the power goes out people looking something, anything to illuminate the darkness.

The other picture I get is that of a lighthouse. Used as a warning to ships. Lights used to warn of danger ahead. I think the metaphor Jesus used is often taken to only mean a guide. It’s often used as a reference to the world around us. That we Christians, as the light of Christ, are meant to be light in the darkness, to illuminate our world. But what if some of us are called to be lighthouses? What if our purpose, as the light of Christ, is to help steer others away from poor choices, from impending doom, from the rocky cliff up ahead? If God cares for people and people will know us by our love what better way to show the love of God then by helping keep others safe. Helping a friend make the right choice. Yes people can be the light in the darkness to attract others to them but I thank God for the people who have been lighthouses in my life. Those who have helped keep me from making poor decisions.

Throw in the Towel

A reflection of this weekends sermon.

Loving others is serving others.

"So take a new grip with your tired hands and strengthen your weak knees."
(Hebrews 12:12)

Be Prepared

Today's journal entry.

Be Prepared:

God has a plan for my life. I’m pretty sure I know bits and pieces of it. The hardest part for me is to take initiative. The biggest reason for this is I’m not sure what those steps may be. I think we overlook the practical things because we believe God is in control and will take care of us and provide. Although this is true, we still need to be active in our part of the will of God. I will never make an album if I don’t write songs and record them. I will never meet my future wife if I don’t ask out anyone. God can’t show me my new place to live if I don’t go looking for it. We tend to think that if it’s God’s will then everything will be taken care of. So we sit on our ass and wait until God drops his will into our laps. Bad news fellows, this isn’t how it works. It’s easy to fall prey because we want God to be in control and we don’t want to mess up his will for us. The problem is by not doing anything we completely miss his will altogether.

People throughout the bible messed up all the time. Jonah didn’t want to go where God told him to go. He got eaten by whale, spit out, and eventually went where God told him to go. Paul, who wrote most of the new testament, was killing Christians before he got saved. Peter denied Jesus 3 times and he was the one who spoke on the day of Pentecost. It’s better to try and fail then to sit around waiting for something to happen. Nothing will happen if we don’t move. God gives us second chances. Eventually we will get it right. We just need to be active and try.

Becoming Christlike

My journal entry for today.

Be Christlike:

Jesus gave us two great commandments, Love the Lord Your God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength, and Love your neighbor as yourself. The shortest verse in the bible is “Jesus wept”. This means absolutely nothing to anyone out of context. It’s just a dumb fact that we as Christians know because it was taught in Sunday school. Most of us don’t know what this verse means. The context is Lazarus has just died. Jesus is grieved by the death of his friend and his weeping shows the people around him that Jesus loved and cared for Lazarus. Jesus’ ministry is about love. More then the miracles, healings, teachings, and feedings it’s about love and compassion. Everything Jesus did was motivated by a compassion and empathy for the people who needed him. My attempts to become for like Christ will be in vain until I learn to show the same love and compassion the he did.

“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Romans 5:8

Broken Mirrors, Missed Ships

My God
Why can't I accept what I am?
Why must I hate your creation?

So I sit and stare at the mirror in your word
Hoping for a revelation to break this retched curse

But as time goes by it gets harder and harder for me to break through
All the make-up, clothes, and mirrors that I've become attached to.

So I sit and wait and I contemplate
As the beauty of my life drifts further into waste.

And when revaltion finally comes
When I learn to really, truly love
Will the things for me have passed me by
Or will a second change be right behind?