Motivated by...

There are blood stained daggers lying in the snow
And I'm confused at this murder scene at my hands
This killing of all that is holy lies in my hands
Yet all I can say is this is how it had to happen
What now, where do I go?
God answer me, guide me
My new life as drifter, fugitive lies before me
And my new reputation will be with me no matter how far I run

Do you really see everything?
Do you know the story of this poor life which I took my own two hands?
Do you still forgive the murderous heart?
Yet nothing matters when I feel as far from you as I do now.
Life seems a meaningless struggle as I strive and strive for you
Yet everyday I feel like a failure, that you're not there

Hoping tonight that your forgiveness for this knife I used
Will bring me closer to you, more then ever before
Yet... I'm doubting that my tactics were right
And now I own a killers life... but I'm hoping for a heart of God

Hold My Hand, Take a Breath

Take a deep breath love and stand on the edge
Of this night long kiss carried on this winters end
A moment of time, not to be replaced
By the wonderful chaos we see everyday
A joining of lips, a tugging of hearts
Backed by the whispers of lovers in arms
To see where we'll go, we have not a clue
But locked hand in hand we jump into the new

The Departed

I wonder what would happen if we were to part?
How long before I no longer miss you?
How long before I could no longer stand a day without your scent, Your touch, you kiss?
Would I miss you lying next to me at night?
Or would my life be full of happiness?
Would the world seem a little bit brighter, more full of promise?
Or would nothing change?
Would my meaningless life continue to go on just as it always has?

Let's not find out.

A Brand New Gospel

Mark my words and take a bow
This final performance, a lasting veil
Your masquerade is over now

The lights go up, the stage now clear
And the audience is already dead.
Their souls, their souls you tried to save
But in the end the devil had his way.
Your followers or so it seemed
Were to consumed in in human beings
A celebrity they put their trust
But you're a fraud like the rest of us.

Drink up, drink up and don't shed a tear
Another town is drawing near
With fresh new faces everywhere
Eagerly awaiting for one true gospel.

Red Chucks and Starbucks

The world largest coffee chain the setting of choice
For a brief encounter that would change the course of my life
A nameless barista hands to a faceless customer
A mediocre cup of coffee and an away with you smile
Then before I walk out you come round the corner
Your red chucks the stand out to your uniform inane
You run to me, a strange really, like you would an old friend
Your arms round my neck, my lips on your face
Your 10 minter break is all that it takes
To spark a new longing, one for the other
I walk out the door, hoping this not the last
Time that I see my new love everlasting

This encounter I remember and am thankful for starbucks
For your employment at that exact moment in time
That God had arranged that meeting for us
Is a wonder to me and I feel blessed from above

Lament of the Sailor

Found a broken spirit and it looks like mine
A passion now dead from a life lived forlorn
A ship in the distance is calling my name
But with no destination it all sounds the same
A sailor on land, my life is on pause
When my ship came in I was long gone

Awaken the dawn as I find a new boat
For my heart is longing for an ocean to call home

Trapped

Tie me up
I'm sorry for today
These tear of lost eyes wandering
It makes relish in time spent alone
A cry for help not heard except for God above
Make joy from sorrow if there is such a way
Oh God I feel like I've lost my way
Bring to me a savior for my heart is still broken
I need yet an answer to my windowless room

Post Modern History of a Well Worn Heart

I watched you break and fade away
Screaming as they laughed your name
Today was not your day

Arise to the top and forget what you're not
A clean get away is better then to stop
You think about the life you have, the falsehood you've become
A making of something deeper then a lie you've overcome

Wake up oh soul, wake up of child
And take the time to look deep inside
Make up your mind of a life once lost
Oh the feelings that have been tossed
Tonight we take our senses back
Not glancing to see what is lacked

Killing Time Till It's Time To Die

Mark my words, you'll never say a word
That sounds like speech to me
These empty tombs, these corpses lying
Make me stronger in my beliefs
"Fight the system" is no corporate line but a system of lies
Sold to a generation in panic.
Arise oh sleeper, were you ever sleeping
Or have we ignored you all along
We're killing time till you call us home
Oh great and mighty one
Take back the streets from enemies
A godhead where we don't belong
A rushing sound is never the sign
But this silence is deafening
We won't relent our souls to tonight
But our lives mean more to us
So rip out the pews and tear down the curtain
The night is ours and we haven't forgotten
Our convictions bring us to rebellion
Against the loveless one
Without a true God

A little something something (Untitled)

The last sound at night is your voice in my ear
And in the morning I longer for your face to see
My dear, you're never far and never near enough
This distance makes my heart ache
I long for the day when we're together
Forever with you by my side
I wait in anticipation for that day
And hope that you'll remain with me

Dance with Me

Take me away, I'm lost
Drowning myself slowly looking for answers to questions never asked
A piece of me is floating on a river to the sea
Lost and gone forever and broken heart of me
Dance away the pain I feel inside
The wickedness I still conceal
My heart opens to one less perfect then the one whom holds the key
Drown my sorrows one more night, one more time
Take me away and I won't fight
Because all this world is locked inside my soul
And I give nothing back... and I give everything

Awake oh sleeper and kill the day
My mountain side monster, that bastard within me
Take heart and hold on tight to everything I feel
But lock away my fear and replace it with the great hope
Ask me not what's wrong, but hold me close
I wait for peace and love, for a countryside view
Of sunshine on my face, of moonlight spreading grace
This puzzle broken heart put together as one

Fight of Relapse

Focus the image, I'll never come back
Breaking this cycle of needed relax
But the right of myself is lost in the day
Forever a dreamer with little to say
Oh wake my mind and give new life
To the pen and paperless simple of kind
A new generation of laziness breeds
This fire and anger and passion in me
But to do, oh God what do I say
To a people who looks to much like me

"Maybe the Lord will act on our behalf"

Take hold of me and let me breathe
For the fear is still gripping tightly
A shattered dream, I'm afraid I'll come
But there's more to me then this run down job
A purpose in life is all I ask
Yet you've handed me this life long task
Failure lurks within my mind
So I don't dare step out where you're by my side
"Maybe the Lord will act on our behalf"
Or maybe I'll die, or worse, they'll all laugh
It's not that I don't think it's true
This calling that runs through and through
But the fear that some will mock my name
Is causing me to bring you shame

The Price of Beauty

Star light, Star bright
I've captured your radiance here tonight
A look around and the things I see
Do very little to interest me
But the glow I saw when I looked at you
Alone in the sky, I knew it was true
That hope was found in the oddest places
And have you I would, I swore to myself
So the journey began to catch a star
And alas I found it not very hard
The years I've focus all my love
My energy, the desires of heart
To making your beauty only mine
I took you from the world you shined
Ashamed I offer my mistake
To the world to mock me, my created fate

A sailor's letter home

If i was lost at sea with no hope in sight,
I'd send a message in a botle addressed to you.
And the simple note would read "I love you."
In my fleeting moments it would be your face, your memory on my mind.

She Always Wears My Favorite Color

Divided I wake, thy soul unturned
The blessing of caught, of shunned, of burned
Leave now the murderers, flee the scene
Judgment is coming to rapture thee
Alas a new mystery, shrouded in black
Comes calling my name, seductive attack
Run though I must, leaves little unchanged
A new set of problems but my heart is the same

Let This Be a Lesson to The One That Gets Away

I find it very comforting when you talk like that
But your eyes can't hide the frustration inside
So take a step back and listen to lies
Then justify yourself and only to yourself
That words you said meant anything
Anything more then a 10 cent cigarette
That calmed the nerve for the first drag... and nothing after

Drink up, drink up, all your demon friends yelled
So you walked to the bar, your own personal hell
My heart left unchanged and your voice still untrue
But when I walk away, your feelings turn blue
The sorrow now left by my footprint impression
A stain on your soul, yet you learned not a lesson

Oh hardened heart wake up and scream
Today is the day when winter fades to spring
Alas it is coming, the day of your new
Too bad I won't see it, I've broken us too.

40 days worth of poetry

Not really. I did write a handful of poems during my 40 day fast that I will now share.


"A Whisper on the Breeze"

Sadness will infect the mind
And sickness pass comes in due time
Along the roof a whisper carries
On the wind his words to her
You're beautiful
And you are Loved


"The Secret's That Won't Share Themselves"

Her precious past a mystery
The shattered tears of history
A road so painful, so alone
Apart from it she hasn't grown
A hand reached out to take her place
And share the emotion upon her face
She turns her head revealing not
While my aching heart leaves bruised and crushed


"My Heart Screams for Something More Then This Failed Life I Keep"

I feel exposed beyond belief
These paper walls are not discreet
The broken bones of my soul
I have no reason to be told
But through the tears I hear her voice
As in her little frame she holds
My trembling, crying body
With a love I've never known


"The Moment That Seemed to Last Forever"

There is a place I retreat
In the beauty of your love
And I find myself at peace
Awaiting grace above
My heart explodes in singing
In laughter and in tears
I feel myself awaken
In your everlasting arms

All Else Failed

The shattered remains are falling like glass
A glint of hesitation, afraid of what I might ask
The turning of tides has already past
As I sit on the pier, am I really the last?

Tomorrow a shadow of failure unknown
The death of my right hand, the name unbeknownst
Glimmer a spot of blood that was shed
Now empty life floods a voice in my head

A murder so cruel but what's to be done
The need left by one life consumed by new blood
The hearts broken murder
Replaced by new love

Falling of Deaf Ears

Stabs of painted light stand still
Gazing shadows walk faster till
The sound of silence lends a part
The very nature of this art
A glimmer of hope yet all consumed
The very one is chosen still
To bring a message painted black
The ears that fall upon won't last
But somewhere in the smoke filled crowd
An open mind will soon reveal
The meaning to the broken tale
A fragmented line no longer stale
A half drunk soul will leave tonight
With a sense of purpose, that all is right