On the Night That I Die

On the night that I die I want to look up to heaven and shout to the savior who saved me,
Screaming at the top of my lungs that I'm ready to spend the afterlife with him.
On the night that I die I want to look into the eyes of my beautiful wife,
And share one last moment of love together.
On the night that I die I want to hold the hands of my children,
Seeing that I've raised them right and my legacy lives on within them.
On the night that I die I want to kiss the heads of my grandchildren,
Sending a prayer to God that he would keep them safe.
On the night that I die I want to look back at my life as a whole,
And thank the Lord for all the moments of joy I've had.
On the night that I die I want to leave this world a better man,
Better then I had ever been before.

Lost my heart somewhere between our first meeting and today.
Oh how far into our future we used to see
Our smiling children out back with playing with the dog.
Yet now I'm having a hard time seeing even a few hours from now
And to be frank my darling, it has me scared .
A life thrown into modern day divorce between us two
Has me wishing for days when we were new.
When all we had were smiles and innocence
When our love would last forever.
It seems like yesterday and still so long ago
And I can't help but pray for a return to those days.
So please my dear don't give up just yet.
Please let me become a man you won't regret.

Murder Inc

Welcome to the greatest show on earth
Court tv drama on technologies latest and greatest
A world so consumed with the new yet so in debt to it's self
Make known that this depression era season will soon pass
Unless all of God's children decide to spend every once of their life
And for what we all gain with this new all in one
We could've used to help a cast away son
The world looks upon us with disdain in it's eye
As we spend our life on our hearts fleeting desire
A shadow of life, the angel of death
Has come back to earth, our stuff to collect.

A Letter: From Satan

I a a checkered past of bars fights and long drives
Of red wine and cheap cigars and girls made out of gold
I'm a lot of things I've never hoped to be
I'm a lie waiting to explode into your brain
I'm a tattletale child bringing news of siblings done wrong
I am the worse thought you are currently thinking
And the best sex you'll ever have
I am a picture perfect copy of all the pleasure in your life
And all the shit that keeps you up at night
I am the center of all things evil
And the center of keeping you poor American children entertained
I'm a circle of lies and shortcomings you'll never see coming
I am a megalomaniac waiting for my turn at full control
I brought sin into world and I'm looking to take your soul to hell
I made Eve eat the apple and Samson cut his hair
I am lust and greed and everything inbetween
I am the angel thrown from heaven
And I'm looking to destroy your life

The Real Housewives of Orange County Have No Soul to Sell

I am a holy roller, sex threat level ten and she is the devil at work within me.
Like wine and cocaine we combine just fine.
Like rich old men and young blonde gold diggers, we were meant to be.
Her the parasite, me the host.
She is my boy hood fantasy girl and I'm her favorite college mistake.
We mean more to each other then we'll ever admit.
But she's a material girl and I'm busy burning down her favorite boutiques.
Her happiness outside of me is a Visa card with unlimited credit,
And I'm finding it very hard to keep her attention while she has cash at spend.
QVC is the soundtrack to late nights and bed fights, and I'm sick at tired of kitchen table countertops full of her receipts.
My religion and her shopping mall Jesus have never met but if they did they'd hate each other.
Yet strangely it seems that our mid-summer nights fling will leave her with more diamonds and me without a thing.
Well I not your sugar daddy and you're no prom queen
So let's find a way to end our midnight romps without my heart or wallet shattering
Because honey my love for you is as real as you think those diamond earrings are.
So enjoy tonight for one last time
Because tomorrow I'll be melting your heart of gold as you refine your taste for the finer things.
So all aboard and last call for this train out of nowhere and straight to the penthouse.
This ain't the last stop just the one you get off at.
See playing with my heart is like playing with fire and tonight you're getting burned.

A Ghost in My Heart

Soft winds stir faint echoes of shorelines long since passed
Memories off a warm sea breeze come rushing quickly back
Not aware of time or space or love of seasons known
Come songs from those still yet to come about the great unknown
Stillness sits and dreams a love now many years been dead
Hoping in the after-life to be lovers once again.

Time Spent

Sometimes me and Jesus will hang out at local bars
Drinking cold Stone White and smoking cheap cigars
We talk about the weather and our rundown beat up cars

God Save me Gin... Maybe

I keep trying, keep pushing on
And everyday, I'd like to think, I'm getting a little better
I hope...

Mark my words, today is not the last
Tomorrow could be worse but it will happen again
And this sin is eating away my heart
But I have got to try, because you're not giving up

Around and around and around I go
The floor is ever coming closer
I fall to my face, the glass spills from my hand
What a waste of good beer

My heart is a war between my soul and my mind
A constant desire to try and do right
Today was a good day, all things considered
Let's celebrate

You Belong Everywhere Part 2

You Belong Everywhere Part 1

Motivated by...

There are blood stained daggers lying in the snow
And I'm confused at this murder scene at my hands
This killing of all that is holy lies in my hands
Yet all I can say is this is how it had to happen
What now, where do I go?
God answer me, guide me
My new life as drifter, fugitive lies before me
And my new reputation will be with me no matter how far I run

Do you really see everything?
Do you know the story of this poor life which I took my own two hands?
Do you still forgive the murderous heart?
Yet nothing matters when I feel as far from you as I do now.
Life seems a meaningless struggle as I strive and strive for you
Yet everyday I feel like a failure, that you're not there

Hoping tonight that your forgiveness for this knife I used
Will bring me closer to you, more then ever before
Yet... I'm doubting that my tactics were right
And now I own a killers life... but I'm hoping for a heart of God

Hold My Hand, Take a Breath

Take a deep breath love and stand on the edge
Of this night long kiss carried on this winters end
A moment of time, not to be replaced
By the wonderful chaos we see everyday
A joining of lips, a tugging of hearts
Backed by the whispers of lovers in arms
To see where we'll go, we have not a clue
But locked hand in hand we jump into the new

The Departed

I wonder what would happen if we were to part?
How long before I no longer miss you?
How long before I could no longer stand a day without your scent, Your touch, you kiss?
Would I miss you lying next to me at night?
Or would my life be full of happiness?
Would the world seem a little bit brighter, more full of promise?
Or would nothing change?
Would my meaningless life continue to go on just as it always has?

Let's not find out.

A Brand New Gospel

Mark my words and take a bow
This final performance, a lasting veil
Your masquerade is over now

The lights go up, the stage now clear
And the audience is already dead.
Their souls, their souls you tried to save
But in the end the devil had his way.
Your followers or so it seemed
Were to consumed in in human beings
A celebrity they put their trust
But you're a fraud like the rest of us.

Drink up, drink up and don't shed a tear
Another town is drawing near
With fresh new faces everywhere
Eagerly awaiting for one true gospel.

Red Chucks and Starbucks

The world largest coffee chain the setting of choice
For a brief encounter that would change the course of my life
A nameless barista hands to a faceless customer
A mediocre cup of coffee and an away with you smile
Then before I walk out you come round the corner
Your red chucks the stand out to your uniform inane
You run to me, a strange really, like you would an old friend
Your arms round my neck, my lips on your face
Your 10 minter break is all that it takes
To spark a new longing, one for the other
I walk out the door, hoping this not the last
Time that I see my new love everlasting

This encounter I remember and am thankful for starbucks
For your employment at that exact moment in time
That God had arranged that meeting for us
Is a wonder to me and I feel blessed from above

Lament of the Sailor

Found a broken spirit and it looks like mine
A passion now dead from a life lived forlorn
A ship in the distance is calling my name
But with no destination it all sounds the same
A sailor on land, my life is on pause
When my ship came in I was long gone

Awaken the dawn as I find a new boat
For my heart is longing for an ocean to call home

Trapped

Tie me up
I'm sorry for today
These tear of lost eyes wandering
It makes relish in time spent alone
A cry for help not heard except for God above
Make joy from sorrow if there is such a way
Oh God I feel like I've lost my way
Bring to me a savior for my heart is still broken
I need yet an answer to my windowless room

Post Modern History of a Well Worn Heart

I watched you break and fade away
Screaming as they laughed your name
Today was not your day

Arise to the top and forget what you're not
A clean get away is better then to stop
You think about the life you have, the falsehood you've become
A making of something deeper then a lie you've overcome

Wake up oh soul, wake up of child
And take the time to look deep inside
Make up your mind of a life once lost
Oh the feelings that have been tossed
Tonight we take our senses back
Not glancing to see what is lacked

Killing Time Till It's Time To Die

Mark my words, you'll never say a word
That sounds like speech to me
These empty tombs, these corpses lying
Make me stronger in my beliefs
"Fight the system" is no corporate line but a system of lies
Sold to a generation in panic.
Arise oh sleeper, were you ever sleeping
Or have we ignored you all along
We're killing time till you call us home
Oh great and mighty one
Take back the streets from enemies
A godhead where we don't belong
A rushing sound is never the sign
But this silence is deafening
We won't relent our souls to tonight
But our lives mean more to us
So rip out the pews and tear down the curtain
The night is ours and we haven't forgotten
Our convictions bring us to rebellion
Against the loveless one
Without a true God

A little something something (Untitled)

The last sound at night is your voice in my ear
And in the morning I longer for your face to see
My dear, you're never far and never near enough
This distance makes my heart ache
I long for the day when we're together
Forever with you by my side
I wait in anticipation for that day
And hope that you'll remain with me