A Walk, A Kiss, A Smile

She said kiss me like you'll never see me again
Her perfume striking the air around me, filling my nostrils with her desire
We embrace, mouths touching and fighting for control
Her gentle push on my stomach breaking our moment of passion
She turns away without a word
And I'm left with her scent on my hands and stale beer on my breath
Her words and actions always leave me confused, wondering where exactly we stand
Maybe I should get out before someone gets hurt
I could write novels about being with her but my thesis would topic would read "Why It Can't Be."
Though my interest has been held long enough to not break this stare...

Cruel Sparks

I want to make love to a French Princess on a yacht encrusted in diamonds
Our bodies slowing rock with the movement of the sea as I give into my wanderlust
Her hands slowly gliding down my side as we embrace each other
Each stolen kiss an unforeseen memory I had not intended on creating

I once heard a song about a man who found God in the bed of his mistress
But it turned out to just be the devil in cheap perfume who trapped the man forever
Is that what's happening here?
Is my life a dance with the devil while I think I'm finding God?
I have allowed myself false pleasure and have come crashing to the bottom of the ocean
I have experienced true joy in absolutely nothing at all, yet it was everything that really mattered
This hope of new life, of better life seems too good to be true
And I can't embrace it long to give up this fools errand I'm currently running
What must I do to break free from these destructive patterns of self-inflicted torment?
How can I truly be free?

High School Love: Destined for Failure

Wedding bells fill our young minds as we stroll these halls hand in hand
Completely unaware of the world outside and all the temptation we are about to face
Our minds so lost in young love that all life's distractions don't seem to matter
For at this moment nothing else matters but our first love

Young dear where do you think you'll be in ten years?
"In the arms of my high school sweetheart" she cried
But in a simple months time her first heartbreak will completely shatter her understanding of love
A terrible introduction to heartaches that she'll face in the years to come
This innocent crush, turned future husband to be, will set her body ablaze and watch it burn from the arms of his new flame
Shadows dance in her broken dreams; trampling the flowers she had planted just this spring
Yet a single rose still blooms in the garden of her heart
Carefully being protected for her real life one to come

Love, Heartache, and All the Inbetween

I am standing at the edge of this canyon we have called a relational encounter
Slowly moving further and further away from the ledge, hoping to avoid falling into the chasm
I once would have given myself over to the depths, leapt joyfully headfirst into the unknown
But experience has taught me to be guarded, not taking flight at my hearts slightest inkling
My heart, no more complete, isn't given to running into the abyss anymore
It's shattered remnants a cruel reminder of why careful planning should be taken
But there's a desire deep down to just give into the temptation to fly, hoping this time to be given wings
Hoping this time there's at least a parachute to keep my heart from dropping straight to the rocky floor where it has exploded brilliantly into tiny and tinier fragments with each unsuccessful relationship

My heart feels a pulling
Wants to yell "What the hell!" and run off this cliff while my mind clearly remembers the latest crash and burn attempt
To give one's own self fully and be held out on
To be tossed aside like yesterday's paper
Why would you want to risk the danger of more heartache?
But this desire...
To be known
To love and be loved
To find intimacy with another
The idea of first kisses and butterflies when holding hands for the first time
The thought of finding one to spend the rest of your life with
These thoughts are sent from the heart to the mind and all thoughts of impending destruction and failure flee

Grasping her hand you move, slowly at first but gaining speed with each step and eventually you reach the edge of the canyon...
And you jump

No One Dances Anymore

The rain falls and washes away this feeling of anxiety and being overwhelmed.
As each new drop splashes on my face I breathe deep and exhale, letting go of all that has consumed me
I am a broken man just trying to make it each day on my own, always forgetting that life wasn't meant to be lived alone.
All my life I've been searching for a love that's been there since birth
All this time spent trying to avoid dying a meaningless death I've been living a mediocre life
We seek out false loves, pleasure themes, and get rich quick schemes
We miss out on the most valuable, the most cherishable moments in our life
We eat so we may not perish but forget to be grateful for our food
We run from place to place trying to get there faster and faster, continually forgetting to stop and just breathe in this precious air

Laughter is contagious and shared between a group of friends over drinks brings joy and rest to the heart of the laugher
We are so caught up in purpose that we forget to enjoy life
No one goes dancing anymore, except at weddings
An act of letting loose and self expression that should be practiced more often than it is
A danced shared between two people, whether a slow dance where they hold each other tight or a swing where lovers throw one another across the room, is a bonding that is unlike many moments people share
Poetry has dried up. Shakespeare is dead.
Romance is a word that was never meant to be expressed by teenage vampires
Love isn't dead but our expressions are weak and dying
Relationships are on life support as the funds dry up and people forget how to just enjoy each other
What has become of our great love stories?
Where love often meant selflessness that kept two people from actually ending up together
What happened to no regrets and enjoying the life we've been given?
Maybe we weren't meant for greater things but for greater love?
Maybe our life spent chasing riches is really just an endeavor to live without fully loving
The greatest moments aren't about the trips and fancy meals but the people we get to spend them with
The greatest feelings of joy come from weddings and births and reconciliation
And our deepest, most painful moments of disappointment come at the end of ones life and we think about all that we didn't do or say and how we'll never be able to express our love to them again

God forgive us for the sins of omission
Forgive for all the times we ignored your voice
The simple hug we didn't give or the dinner bill we should have paid for our friends
Forgive us chasing the American dream and not chasing after your dreams for us
Forgive us our hardened hearts and our lack of love

Let us dance in the rain and sing at the top of our lungs
Let us turn a corner and live a life worthy of retelling
We are a passionate people with a fire unquenched
We are the writers of sonnets and plays, of songs and scripts

Let love consume us as we move forward into a new thought of living