Love, Heartache, and All the Inbetween

I am standing at the edge of this canyon we have called a relational encounter
Slowly moving further and further away from the ledge, hoping to avoid falling into the chasm
I once would have given myself over to the depths, leapt joyfully headfirst into the unknown
But experience has taught me to be guarded, not taking flight at my hearts slightest inkling
My heart, no more complete, isn't given to running into the abyss anymore
It's shattered remnants a cruel reminder of why careful planning should be taken
But there's a desire deep down to just give into the temptation to fly, hoping this time to be given wings
Hoping this time there's at least a parachute to keep my heart from dropping straight to the rocky floor where it has exploded brilliantly into tiny and tinier fragments with each unsuccessful relationship

My heart feels a pulling
Wants to yell "What the hell!" and run off this cliff while my mind clearly remembers the latest crash and burn attempt
To give one's own self fully and be held out on
To be tossed aside like yesterday's paper
Why would you want to risk the danger of more heartache?
But this desire...
To be known
To love and be loved
To find intimacy with another
The idea of first kisses and butterflies when holding hands for the first time
The thought of finding one to spend the rest of your life with
These thoughts are sent from the heart to the mind and all thoughts of impending destruction and failure flee

Grasping her hand you move, slowly at first but gaining speed with each step and eventually you reach the edge of the canyon...
And you jump